At some point in the course of our education, most of us have had to read something by Ernest Hemingway. Being an eminently employable English major means I’ve actually read several things by him, but the first was For Whom the Bell Tolls. On a side note, I’d like to think it helped motivate me to fierce independence and mild (okay, moderate!) feminism. There are a few things I like about Hemingway, but for me the best part of this particular book is that it was my first exposure to John Donne. For those of you who aren’t utterly fascinated by old dead British dudes, John Donne was a poet and cleric who died about 1631. He is most well known for his metaphysical poems, especially the one below from which Hemingway takes his title.
No Man is an Island
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee ~ John Donne
Brief little poetic explication here: it’s about how we are all a part of a larger community and every human is connected to every other human. I think this is why Hemingway chose this poem for his book about the Spanish Civil War- no matter who dies in battle, we are all the lesser for their loss. The death knell is for ourselves, no matter who died.
Yikes, now there’s a happy thought! But really, the idea is a good one, and I think it’s tremendously important when it comes to weight loss and fitness. Most of us try to go it alone when we try to eat healthy, lose weight and make better fitness choices. Either because we are embarrassed by how out of shape we are, how ‘awful’ we think our habits are, because we don’t know how to ask for help, or we don’t think that we need any: (“I shouldn’t need help to know how to eat, for Heaven’s sake!”) Yeah, we do need help! For a long time, I didn’t know there was help available other than a paid program like Overeaters Anonymous or Weight Watchers. While I don’t want to say that going it alone is guaranteed failure (although it was for me), I do want to let you know that toughing it out by yourself is just making it so very much harder than it needs to be!
I was thinking about communities the other day and I guess that’s why this poem popped into my head. Bits of Donne’s poem have become cliche in today’s world, but like so many cliches, we hear them, repeat them, but do we remember what they mean? We roll our eyes when someone tells us “remember, no man is an island!” but we rarely think about this truth in our own lives, especially when it comes to something like weight loss.
This is the reason we have things like ‘accountabili-buddies’ and ‘fitness friends’ and ‘work out buddies.’ Toughing it out by your solitary self is halfway to disaster! Community offers more than just moral support- they are a resource for information and ideas too, and don’t knock the moral support! Remember the last time you tried dieting during the holidays? The office is full of cookies and fudge and candy and there you are with your diet soda and salad- YUM! I know when things like that happen in my office, it helps me tremendously to open up the MFP app on my phone and grouse about it! I am sharing my frustration with my fitness friends, and I inevitably get back some support, commiseration and some ideas on how to avoid scarfing all the frosted candy cane cookies. A community also shares ideas about what’s working for them, how you can make positive changes and some other sources of help and information. Today one of my fitness friends shared her recipe for bulletproof coffee, which was miles better than the last recipe I used! Hers actually sounded like something I might want to drink (mine went down the drain)! I got Elizabeth Benton’s name (Primal Potential podcast) from a fitness friend and she has been an invaluable resource, which I have happily shared as much as I can.
A community of any kind is basically a network to help its members share information and provide assistance. We use them in our jobs and churches and in our social lives. Facebook? Instagram? Crowd-sourcing? They are all networks and as social creatures, networking is what we are made to do! But when it comes to weight loss and fitness, we balk, mainly for the reasons I mentioned earlier: embarrassment and shame. This is why so many of us fail with our fitness goals. We don’t want to look like we don’t know what we’re doing, even if we don’t!I know I’m preaching to the choir a bit here. Since you’re reading this blog, you’re at least reaching out for information and support (WTG, you!) While I always encourage questions or comments on this blog, there’s other support out there that’s a bit more interactive. Facebook is always popular. You can post on your own wall or join a dedicated group. Most of the podcasts I listen to have Facebook forums: Metabolic Radio; 40+Fitness, Primal Potential, 2 Keto Dudes. Many also have Instagram accounts too. You can join the conversation for info and support.
You can also join an online site like My Fitness Pal (MFP). I’m honestly not familiar with a lot of these, mainly because I just like MFP. It’s a lot like a fitness oriented Facebook with sections for tracking your food, water, weight, fitness goals as well as forums for asking questions, joining a challenge or message your friends. I credit MFP with a lot of my success- the support, information and feedback have been invaluable.
While you don’t have to join MFP or any other online group, you’re not doing yourself any favors going it alone. Finding support and community can be as invaluable for you as it has been for me. You don’t have to be super active in any forum you join- that’s up to you- but finding a community makes it easier. Do yourself a favor and get off the island!