You Do You & I’ll Do Me: Following Your Own Weight Loss Plan

This time of year, there is always someone ready to tell you that you are “doing it wrong.” We are bombarded by fitness and weight loss programs and meal delivery systems designed to help us lose weight, eat healthier and maximize our nutrition. Of course, all of them come with a price tag, and some of those are pretty hefty too! (Maybe they need a slimming regimen!)

The truth is that all of us are individuals which means we all have different needs and preferences.  I remember when the Cabbage Diet was popular.  I don’t know how effective it was but I do remember hearing people complain that they’d try that diet except “I hate cabbage!” I am sure there were some people who choked it down just so they could lose weight but that’s the problem with following someone else’s regimen: it may not work for you.  I am sure all there were quite a few non-cabbage-loving dieters who gained back whatever weight they lost on that Cabbage Diet because they stopped following the diet once they either 1) lost weight, or 2) gave up on it.

The reason we follow diets we hate is because we somehow got the idea that weight loss is supposed to be an unhappy unpleasant experience.  We’ve all heard the joke about the World’s Easiest Diet: “if it tastes good, spit it out!” A lot of us think that’s the way diets are supposed to be, full of awful-tasting, ‘healthy’ food that we’d never eat normally.  We suffer through eating foods we hate until we lose the weight we want or we just can’t take eating that awful stuff anymore.  Either way, we go back to eating the foods that led to us gaining the weight and while we may like what we’re eating, we’re completely unhappy with how we look and feel.

Too many of us have a Dieting Mentality where we change how we eat long enough to lose a few pounds and then we go back to “eating normal food.” If we want our weight loss to last, we have to change how we eat permanently and it’s hard to do if we are stuck eating foods we really don’t like! If someone told me all I’d have to do to lose fifty pounds is follow a Kidney Bean Diet, I’d never last, no matter how ‘easy’ it was supposed to be! I was one of those kids who picked out the kidney beans from my Three Bean Salad.  I’d leave them behind from any dish they were in. In fact, there are very few beans or legumes I like, so no matter how healthy and nutritious they are, I’ve never eaten much of them. Cabbage and other cruciferous vegetables are another story: I eat a lot of those on a regular basis and always have.

It seems like common sense, but when it comes to weight loss, too many of us will try anything! You want me to eat grapefruit twice a day? Got it!  You want me to drink nasty horrible-tasting protein shakes twice a day? No problem! Choke down kale with every meal? Sure thing! Those plans will probably work as far as losing weight initially, but when it comes to long-term? How long before you start justifying donuts or pizza? Or even just skipping the morning protein shake in favor of something you actually enjoy eating?

Bottom line: if you want your weight loss to last, you need to eat healthy foods that you actually enjoy eating on a regular basis, not just until you’ve lost ten or twenty pounds.  Unfortunately, that means whatever weight loss diet you might start off with, you’ve got to personalize it for you.  If you don’t like eggs, then don’t eat them even if the diet says to eat them as your protein source! Any diet that limits what you eat to a small number of selections is probably not going to work long term for anyone.  There should be a fair number of suggested foods to allow you to choose healthy alternatives that you enjoy eating.

You can lose weight and you can keep it off long term, but you have to stop focusing on what other people are doing or what other people want you to do, unless it’s a routine that you can follow long term.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t ever have pizza or donuts again, but it shouldn’t mean you are stuck eating grapefruit, kale or protein bars for the rest of your life either.  Remember, the reason you want to lose weight is so you can enjoy your life more and for me, an enjoyable life has as little kale as possible!

Changing Directions: Weight Loss & Getting There

We’ve all heard the expression “dieting doesn’t work.” We know it’s a temporary solution to a permanent situation but that still doesn’t help much.  We know we shouldn’t eat the entire giant burrito at lunch, but we do anyway.  We know that eggnog latte we sucked down this morning was at least 500 calories so we really don’t need another this afternoon, but here we are ordering one! The solution to weight loss is simple: permanently change what we eat and how much.  But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean that it’s easy!

Professionals debate whether Food Addiction is a real addiction or not, and there are the inevitable comparisons to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Overeaters Anonymous takes the ‘Twelve Step’ approach to weight loss and while I am not a member of such a program, I do have family members who are. One of the first things they did when they started their recovery is to change their environment. Specifically, if all your friends drink or do drugs, you need some new friends! When it comes to drugs and alcohol, we expect that. We recognize that we can’t expect recovering alcoholics to hang out at the bar not drinking with their friends who are any more than we can expect drug addicts to hang out with their friends who are always getting high.  There’s simply too much temptation to fall back into the addiction they’re trying to break!

So what do we do about weight loss?  As Food Addiction believers like to point out: you can live without alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, but sooner or later, we all need to eat! It’s not like we can hang out without people who don’t eat! It gets even harder when there is a holiday or celebration, since nearly all cultures celebrate with special foods! How are we supposed to deal with our addiction when we have to go back to it to survive?

Whatever you believe about Food Addiction, anyone who wants to lose weight without gaining it back has to accept making some permanent lifestyle changes, not unlike the recovering alcoholic or addict. You may not need to ditch those ‘food-eating friends,’ but you will probably need to change how you interact with them! It doesn’t even have to be major changes but we all know that if you are going to San Francisco, you don’t enter a San Diego address into your GPS! If you want to change your destination, you have to change your route.  Doing things the way you did before is only going to get you somewhere you don’t want to be!

Easier said than done! If only it were as easy as plugging in a new address into Google Maps! Unfortunately, a lot of weight loss gurus like to tell us that it really isn’t too difficult. I always wonder how many of them had weight problems, because they usually look really fit and thin! I know that does many a great disservice, but all of us who struggle with our weight know how hard and painful it can be.  Watching a spokesperson with a chiseled six-pack tell us that we can lose 15 lbs in 6 weeks by making ‘5 easy changes!’ makes me want to kick in my tv! Or scarf a whole pint of New York Super Fudge Chunk…. Either way, it’s not a good feeling.

Psychologists like to call this behavior modification and we have all used it and had it used on us before.  Remember when your parents grounded you for getting home late? Remember when you scolded your puppy for wetting on the floor? Those are some simple examples: you do X and Y happens to you, so if you don’t want X to happen to you again, then don’t do Y! With weight loss, the X we are trying to avoid is gaining weight but it’s more complicated than that.  We are not only trying to avoid weight gain, we want to go in the opposite direction!

We not only need to figure out what Y we need to avoid, we need to map an entirely new route for somewhere else. For a lot of us, this feels like trying to climb Everest with only a windbreaker and some walking shoes– totally impossible! The truth is that it’s not impossible if we know what we’re looking for and that skinny six-pack guy on the infomercial with his 5 easy changes is more interested in your money than helping you find the answers.

One of the easiest ways to find out what changes you need to make in order to make your weight loss permanent is to track what you eat.  I know everyone hates doing it, but we all need a starting point, especially if we want to measure how much progress we’ve made.  It doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated.  You can use any notebook or pocket diary and there are a lot of free popular apps on available. It’s up to you how detailed you want to be with your food descriptions but you do need to be consistent.  After a couple of weeks of writing down everything you eat and drink, you’ll have a realistic idea of how much and what foods are typical for you.  Then, you can start making changes!

Most of us eat more than we think we do and we have unrealistic ideas of portion size and calorie count.  You don’t need to weigh everything but if the hamburger for lunch was two patties bigger than the palm of your hand, you need to write that down.  Also, if there were three parts to the bun and two slices of cheese, those need to be written down!  So when we start to make changes, we shouldn’t plan sweeping global changes to our food. Telling yourself “I’m starting keto on Monday” or “I’m going Paleo tomorrow” is going to make you feel like you’re back on Everest in that windbreaker!

The best approach is a little like Google Maps: you know how the app shows you both the whole route with the next turn highlighted at the top? That’s the way you need to do this! You know what your ultimate goal is but your focus needs to be on your next turn, not that freeway offramp by your destination! You’re not even on the freeway yet! Focus on getting to the onramp first!

Start with a small step.  Elizabeth Benton suggests starting with breakfast (a good idea!) but it can be something as simple as cutting out the sweets or giving up soda.  It can also be something like cutting your portion sizes in half.  Once you’ve gotten the first step under control, whatever you’ve chosen, then you can move on to the next step.  This can be working on a better lunch, cutting out more carbs, or replacing more processed foods with whole foods. However you choose to eat (keto, Paleo, Whole 30, etc), most of us are in a hurry to get there but rushing is another bad step.  To use the Google Maps analogy, when you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, it’s easier to get lost because you aren’t focused on following the directions.  You want to take shortcuts that don’t always work. Our bodies don’t change overnight so any changes we make won’t show results overnight either!

Remember back to that Twelve Step program I mentioned earlier? Another important point is “one day at a time.” You can’t go from getting drunk on Friday to being sober four years on Monday! You have to earn those four years one day at a time! By being patient, dealing with situations as they come up and learning from mistakes, we eventually figure out what triggers our cravings, what our weaknesses are and how we need to avoid them.  It’s the same, whether we’re trying to stay sober or lose 50 lbs.

By being patient and learning what we are doing now that’s not healthy for us, we learn how to make positive changes to our eating and our behavior.  Our focus needs to be on making positive changes and taking positive steps. We can look at the distance we have to travel and wish it didn’t take so long, but wishing isn’t going to get us to our goal weight.  The only thing that will is making those changes and making them day after day after day.  It’s not a quick trip but the best part about it is that once you get there, it’s for good! Welcome to the neighborhood!

 

 

 

Insecurities: Weight Loss & Being Fearless

No one likes talking about their insecurities.  It’s been said that our own insecurities stem from our own judgment of ourselves.  The idea is that we are used to passing judgment on others and assume that they will pass judgment on us, so we are constantly insecure about how we look and how we act. I find it a little ironic that insecurity and passing judgment have become such hot topics right now. One of the more popular movies in theaters now is the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody, and if anyone ever embodied the word “fearless,” it is Freddie Mercury.  In fact, one of the film’s posters has the legend “Fearless lives Forever.” (Fearless) Obviously, we all have our own insecurities and self-doubt, and I am sure Freddie was no different.  What does make a difference is whether we choose to let these insecurities and self-doubt get in the way of living our lives.

Many of us use our doubt and insecurity to hide from what we want to do and how we want to live.  We are afraid of being judged by others and ourselves for what we do and what we want to do.  Weight loss and dieting are full of judgment and self-doubt! We are constantly being told what we are doing wrong. Just last night I saw a tv commercial telling us that counting calories and cutting carbs is the wrong way to achieve weight loss- it’s our hormones that are the problem! By signing up with this program, we can fix our hormones! What the ad didn’t say is that we can control our hormones by how much we eat and what we eat, including carbs.  While I’m sure this program has had some success, I don’t think the only way we to lose weight is by forking out money to this weight loss guru so he can let us in on his little secret.

But by implying that “we’re doing it wrong,” he and others are playing on our insecurities.  We start doubting ourselves.  We start wondering if everyone else is going to tell us how wrong we are for not following “the right diet.”  Let’s be honest: no one likes being told they’re wrong! No one likes being laughed at or being made to feel stupid either.

Fear of what other people think is one of the biggest reasons people hide the fact that they are trying to lose weight and why so many people don’t go to the gym or even exercise the way they want. Those are valid fears: there are a lot of judgmental people out there in addition to those who will just give you ‘free advice.’  The Judges will flat out tell you what you are doing wrong and how you will never achieve lasting weight loss following “that weight loss plan!”  The Free Advisors will give you all the details about this other weight loss plan they heard of that worked great for their cousin’s boyfriend’s sister.  Some of them may be trying to make you feel insecure about how you are eating or what you are choosing to eat (and not eat), and then there are those who really want to help but don’t realize they are undermining your self-confidence.  We shouldn’t feel like we need to hide how we eat to avoid unwanted criticism!

While some of us can get by at luncheons and restaurants by surreptitiously avoiding the carbs, high fat sauces or starches, it’s harder when it comes to working out.  While weight loss isn’t driven by exercise, being active is an important part of being healthy, and for most of us, once we begin losing weight, we feel the urge to be more active.  However, being insecure about our appearance is one of the primary reasons people avoid the gym.  Who wants to go to a gym full of fit athletic people when we look in the mirror and see a pudgy blob in a t-shirt and sweatpants? News flash: YOU are the one putting that label on YOURSELF! Why are you assuming that’s what other people are going to think about you? Frankly, there are probably a lot of people at the gym who aren’t even going to notice you because they are too busy worrying about what other people (i.e., you!) are thinking about them! Even if they did notice you and say something rude or judgmental, do you really care about a complete stranger’s opinion?

This is where we fight the self-doubt and insecurity by growing a thick skin and some self-confidence. It’s not easy getting used to negative comments or criticism.  My mother was my worst critic for most of my life and I learned at a young age I could either give in to her judgments and change how I lived to suit her, or I could ignore the negativity and live my life the way that suited me. (FYI: my mother hates the music I listen to, including Queen!) For most of us, ignoring a stranger’s obnoxious comment is one thing but ignoring family members and friends is much more difficult.  It takes some courage to say “I am doing this my way” when it’s someone you care about, and it can be harder still when the critic really thinks they are being helpful.  It takes time, practice and a little tact to build up the self-confidence.  Frankly, I was never good at tact: I just ignored the comments and did what I wanted to do!  If there is anything any of us learn when it comes to weight loss it is that what works for one person may not work for you.  Your sister’s boyfriend’s mom may have lost a boatload of weight on Nutrisystem but that’s no guarantee it will work for you, and there is no shame or rudeness in telling them this!  We don’t have to be afraid of trying things our way and doing the things we want to do just because we don’t want to be singled out as “different” or “wrong” or “foolish.”

We can be afraid of going to the gym and being laughed at.  We can be afraid of being criticized for choosing the weight loss plan that we like.  We can be afraid of working out the way we want because others think it’s not good enough.  We can live our lives being afraid or we can learn to be fearless of criticism and judgment.  Being fearless doesn’t mean we won’t make mistakes but it’s our right to make them and hopefully we’ll learn from them. If we really want to be the best versions of ourselves, we need to keep moving forward despite the judgment of others.  I really think that is why artists like Freddie Mercury appeal so much to me: I want to be fearless too. (Champions)

 

 

Knocking on the Door: Weight Loss & Trying Something New

One of the things I have in common with many of my friends is that we like to try new things.  That doesn’t mean we jump on any bandwagon that comes along or that we are always running out to buy the latest and greatest of something, but it does mean when an opportunity to try something new comes along, we are more willing to give it a shot than other people.  We try to keep an open mind about things.  One of my personal ‘rules’ is that I will usually try something new at least twice, just in the case the first time was a fluke, as in the new barista at the Starbucks made your coffee incorrectly or the obnoxious instructor at the gym was a sub the first time you showed up.

Another one of my personal rules is “if you don’t ask, the answer is always going to be ‘no.'”  Shortly after I started working for my boss, we had a situation where we needed to get a trial date continued and he was reluctant to ask opposing counsel to agree to a continuance.  I commented, “it doesn’t hurt to ask because he may say yes and if he doesn’t, you’re right where you are now.” The look on his face told me he’d never thought of it that way and we ended up getting the continuance.  What I didn’t tell him is that I learned this little mantra after constantly going through “worst case scenarios” most of my life, which seems a little backward.  By constantly looking at the negative side of things, I learned to be optimistic, i.e. I am already in the ‘worst case situation’ so if they tell me no, I haven’t lost anything and I might gain something if the answer is yes!

This philosophy works pretty well with trying new things. I remember when I first started at my gym: I was afraid to try the Water Aerobics class.  I didn’t know what it was and the class description wasn’t very descriptive. I didn’t want to show up only to be told I couldn’t participate or that it was too much for me to do blah blah blah excuse excuse.  Eventually, I showed up at the pool in the middle of one of the classes by mistake and it looked like the members were having a lot of fun but I sat on the sidelines. Then the instructor asked me if I wanted to join them so I did. Now I realize that my only obstacles to joining the class were my own fear and doubt. The only thing holding me back was me!

Trying new things does require a little bravery and an open mind. You have to be willing to take a chance.  You also have to be willing to take a little criticism, both constructive and sometimes simply rude.  I got a lot of both when I started following Paleo, but I’ve not regretted it one bit. (Okay, so I do miss bread!) The truth is I tried it and it works for me and I like it a lot.  Whatever criticism I’ve gotten hasn’t been enough to change my mind, especially given all the benefits of Paleo for me.

However, we have to be a bit judicious about trying new things.  Jumping on every bandwagon that comes along isn’t a good idea.  Just because something is “new” doesn’t mean it’s great or even good, or that it will work for you.  Keto is one of the newest trends in weight loss.  I have tried it, but frankly, I like veggies too much to stay in ketosis.  A big part of my meals is usually a big salad or bowl of Brussels sprouts.  Another big trend is ‘fat bombs,’ especially for keto devotees. These are usually cream cheese or butter mixed with stevia and coco or another calorie free flavoring.  The idea is that you get a treat that won’t take you out of ketosis. They aren’t a bad idea, but they don’t work for me.  While they are keto-friendly, they are also full of calories (way more than Brussels sprouts!) and they don’t satisfy my hunger.  I can have two or three and still feel hungry but those two or three fat bombs have more calories than the big salad or bowl of coleslaw that will take me out of ketosis.

Kale is another one of these hot new ideas. Kale is a cruciferous vegetable which is being touted as a ‘superfood.’ Cruciferous vegetables include cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts and are typically nutrient dense, high in fiber and low in starch.  They are also some of my favorite veggies, so I decided to try kale! I’d had in soup a few times but I learned that’s pretty much my limit for kale! Kale salads, creamed kale, sauteed kale are all a huge NO for me! I knocked on that door and now I’ve pad-locked it closed!

Some new ideas I don’t need to try out because I already know the answer, such as bulletproof coffee.  I like butter and I like coffee but I don’t need to try buttered coffee to know it doesn’t work for me.  An even worse suggestion is substituting coconut oil for the butter: I don’t like coconut flavored coffees. That doesn’t mean that they won’t work for someone else, and it doesn’t mean I won’t try them out later. I may find out that this is another instance where I am getting in my own way!

When I was in college, I took a German Short Fiction class and we spent a lot of time on Kafka, who is notoriously difficult.  One of the stories we read is called “Before The Law.”  It’s about a man who waits all his life for entry into the Law and never enters. Shortly before he dies, he asks the gatekeeper why no one else ever came to this door and he is told that “this doorway was made only for you.” This concept has stayed with me ever since.  If you don’t ask, the answer is always no and if you don’t knock, the door is always closed.  Something great may be waiting for you, but if you don’t even try, you will never know!

Taking a Short Cut?: Weight Loss & Real Food

Weight loss is a very lucrative industry, especially in America.  As we become less and less mobile and food continues to be more and more easily obtainable, we keep getting more and more obese.  You would think food would become healthier, and in some cases, it has, but overall, the more food is processed, the more nutrition is lost.

In most cases, manufacturers enrich their finished products with vitamins, minerals and other essentials to make them healthier.  In some cases, it’s the result of a government campaign, as in breads, cereals and milk, which are routinely fortified. While these fortified products are better than the unfortified version, there are still questions about how healthy highly processed foods are for us.  Yes, they may have “all the required vitamins” to satisfy the recommended daily allowances, but what else is in there?

One of the commercials I’ve been seeing a lot is for a vegetable juice drink which compares itself to a banana.  The commercial asserts that the little can of juice drink has as much potassium as the banana, claiming “it’s a post work out snack you don’t have to peel.”  This statement makes me roll my eyes every time I hear it.  I am not claiming the commercial is lying about the potassium levels, but we’re comparing juice to a whole food. Something which is as highly processed as juice is likely not as nutrient dense as a whole food, especially when it comes to fiber.

It’s bad enough that nutrition and fiber are taken out of foods in processing: other things are added in to make them more shelf-stable, to preserve “freshness” and taste and to make them look prettier. That can of vegetable juice has less fiber, likely less nutrition from the vegetables themselves and way more sodium than the vegetables it was made from, since the vitamin C and betacarotene are added. However, it is much easier to carry around a little can of veggie juice than the actual vegetables!

That is the primary reason people choose processed foods over whole natural foods: convenience!  How many times have we bought fresh fruits and veggies only to have them spoil in our fridge? (Raising my hand here!) It happens more than I like with spinach, lettuce and cabbage.  It happens to me most often with milk, and in fact, it happened–again!-– last weekend! I love coffee but I only drink it with cream.  I also only drink coffee at home on the weekend (since that’s when I spend the most time there), so I went about making coffee only to realize right before I turned on the machine that the cream in the fridge had spoiled. No cream, no coffee! As I added it to the grocery list, I considered buying something shelf-stable that wouldn’t spoil for weeks so this wouldn’t keep happening to me.

How much easier it would be for me to have powdered cream sitting in my cupboard for me to use whenever I needed it!  I wouldn’t have to worry about spoilage and I could have coffee without first checking to make sure I have cream.  Wow, wouldn’t that be great! Except the list of ingredients on the powdered creamer reads like a chemistry experiment because it really is more chemicals than actual food! Does it taste good? Most definitely! I admit it: I love the stuff and used it for years for mainly because it’s convenient and good tasting.

Unfortunately, in addition to being shelf-stable and delicious, it also has so many things that I don’t like, such as preservatives, corn syrup solids and trans fat.  Yes, if you look on the labels of many of these, they say they are “free of trans fats.”  They are allowed to say that if the serving size is very small. Even though you are getting only a small amount of trans fats with each serving, let’s consider how much of that stuff you, or rather I, consume! I don’t put in one or two tablespoons (1 serving) mainly because I drink great big mugs of coffee and usually more than one daily.  So over the course of a weekend, I’m going to have probably six or eight tablespoons each day.  That’s a lot of “little amounts” which build up into a real number! (Seriously, I think all the trans fats & saccharin I’ve eaten over the years have become part of my DNA–ugh!)

Then there are all the extra calories that come with that shelf-stable powdered creamer! Once I reminded myself of why I stopped using that stuff, I ended up putting a small carton of half and half in my shopping cart.  I know what’s in that and most importantly, my body knows what’s in it too! This is the problem with chemical preservatives and additives: some of these things were invented in the last century and our organs don’t know what to do with these things, especially trans fats! As a result, these unstable compounds just get stored in our bodies. Some chemical compounds can really disrupt your gut bacteria, resulting in poor nutrient absorption or even a more serious disorder such Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO).  Anyone who has had any kind of digestive disorder knows what kind of havoc they can wreak not only on your health but on your daily life. The last time I had a stomach bug was bad enough for me!

Not all processed foods are unhealthy but they should not be the majority of your meals. The best way to minimize your intake of trans fats, preservatives or other unhealthy chemicals is to eat as few processed foods as possible. I occasionally buy refrigerated or frozen foods out of the sheer convenience.  They are mostly fruit or vegetables and they tend to be minimally processed. Usually they are raw frozen foods and the ingredient labels read” sweet potatoes” or “green cabbage,” but I do buy the occasional frozen entree or other processed bagged item. However, these items are “occasional.”  The majority of what I eat doesn’t come in a bag or a can: it comes in butcher paper from the meat counter or in its own natural (and sometimes edible) wrapper.  There’s something to be said for the vitamins and nutrition in those natural vegetable wrappers: I can guarantee you they taste better than that juice can!

 

 

 

A Moment of Truth: Weight Loss & Right Now

I’ve heard it said that our lives are lived in moments, not hours or days.  When I look at my pets, I see that very clearly.  I know they remember what happened yesterday or this morning, but their focus is on what’s going on right now. We are taught all our lives to look to the future and make plans for tomorrow, but when it comes to staying on track with your weight loss and healthy eating, we need to be looking at right now.

Elizabeth Benton likes to refer to this as “staying in the moment” and that’s a good way of looking at it. It’s easier for me to remember as “right now.” (Too much MTV in my wasted youth!) What is the choice in front of me right now? Do I want to give up my goals for what I want right now? What is the best decision for me to make right now?  In so many ways, it flies in the face of what we have been taught since we were kids: we need to think of the future instead of right now!

It’s almost counter-intuitive: we plan for our future by acting right now.  If someone wants to split a dessert at lunch, do I want to delay reaching my goal for the cheesecake right now? Should I plan to work out tomorrow since I don’t want to work out right now? Right now, what is the best decision I can make for reaching my weight loss goals? While some of you are probably rolling your eyes, too often we get tricked into swapping out Right Now for the Future.  I want cheesecake right now so in the Future, I will work out an extra session / skip lunch, etc.  We get sucked into constructing big plans for the Future or digging up information on weight loss or fitness and instead of taking action Right Now, we are busy planning for the Future.

There is nothing wrong with planning for the Future.  It’s always a good thing to know where you are going and how you are going to get there, but when that planning gets in the way of taking action, it’s not helpful.  You can always do something real and concrete Right Now instead of waiting until sometime in the Future when you have all the information you think you need.  The problem is that there will always be new information coming out on health, fitness and weight loss so on any day, there will always be something we don’t know.  Information is not action and only action will get you to your goals!

When they say our lives are made up of moments, they are talking about all those “right nows.”  That’s what our future is built on: what happens to us in the future actually depends on what we do right now.  If we keep sacrificing our Right Now for some Future action, we will never take action and we will never reach our goals.  We build our Future out of those momentary Right Nows each of us face each day.  Right now, you can be walking during your lunch. Right now you can be shopping for healthy whole foods.  Right now you can be at your gym or joining one.  Right now you can be making a healthy meal.  Right now, you can be saying yes to Brussels sprouts and no to donuts.  This is where our Future comes from; it comes from what we do Right Now.  What are you doing Right Now?

Van Halen: Right Now

One Thing: Weight Loss, Patience & Progress

When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time with my dad who has always been a fan of Westerns.  By the time I was in middle school, I was not only familiar with the Duke but also the large cast of cowboy regulars, including (among others) Ben Johnson, Ward Bond, Richard Boone, and Jack Palance.

Jack Palance is probably best remembered in the Under-50 crowd for his last movie, City Slickers, for which he won a Best Supporting Oscar in 1992.  (It’s also the one where he did one-handed pushups on the stage!) For those of you who haven’t seen this movie, it’s about a burnt-out executive and his friends (Billy Crystal, Bruno Kirby and Daniel Stern) who go on a modern day cattle drive as a vacation.  They are going to play Cowboys and Jack Palance’s Curly, the real deal, offers Crystal some advice about the meaning of life: to paraphrase, it’s one thing. You find your ‘one thing’ and stick to it.  Everything else doesn’t mean crap (Curly’s Law- One Thing).

While cowboys, cattle drives and crusty old actors might not seem relevant to weight loss, Curly’s Law has a lot to do with it! Most of us– me included– want to get to our goal weight RIGHT NOW! Yesterday is not soon enough for us! All of us have been guilty of trying to rush this but weight loss, health, fitness, whatever your goal is, cannot be rushed. Our bodies need time to burn fat, to build muscle or to repair the damage caused by a lifetime of poor eating and lack of activity. It doesn’t happen overnight or even over the course of a couple of weeks! So, in an effort to ‘speed things up,’ we try doing everything we can to lose as much weight as we can in the shortest amount of time. In short, we try to do everything at once!

Before we go loading up on all the supplements, protein shakes and filling our fridge with the latest superfoods, remember one thing, and that is One… Thing.  Find the one thing you want to start with and that’s what you focus on! Before you start making excuses about how if doing one thing is good, then more things must be better and faster, it’s also harder! If your plan is waking up a half hour earlier so you can spend that time on the treadmill before you jump in the shower and go to work and you opt to have a protein shake for breakfast and then walk during lunch time and then prepare a healthy dinner in the evening, meditate for twenty minutes and turn off the tv or tablet an hour before going to bed along with drinking 8 glasses of water all day and journaling before you fall asleep, that really sounds like a great routine! I know a lot of people who would approve a healthy plan like that, focused on good nutrition, lots of exercise followed by quality rest and relaxation!

If you also think it sounds like a lot of work, that’s because it is a whole lot of work! It also sounds really healthy so there are probably more than a few of us who are busy drawing up similar schedules to start on bright and early on Monday morning or even for January 1st.  The problem is that after a few short weeks, whenever you start, you’ll find yourself falling behind on your new Healthy Routine.  It’s not that you lack willpower or stamina or are lazy.  It’s that Real Life gets in the way! Because you are starting so many new routines at once (even if you call it ‘one’), you haven’t had the chance to build them up into regular habits.

What happens to your Healthy Routine when you get stuck running an errand during your ‘meditation time’? What happens when you have to work through your ‘lunchtime walking’ to finish a project that goes to the client by mid-afternoon? What do you do when you sleep through your alarm or have to work late into the evening or anything else that happens unexpectedly in our lives? When we get knocked off balance and start missing our new goals, it’s easier to forget to get back on track or worse, we get discouraged and give up on them.  No one likes to hear this either, but it takes time to develop a new habit, just like it takes time to lose weight and build muscle! Remember: One Thing.

One thing is easier to do than two or three or five.  One thing is easier to keep track of than two or four, and when you focus on one thing, you can do your best with it instead of giving it a few minutes of your attention every day.  When you are already in the habit of eating healthy, it’s easier to adjust when you are faced with non-healthy choices.  When you are in the habit of waking up a half hour earlier, it’s harder to oversleep and easier to get back into your routine.  When all of these new behaviors aren’t new anymore and are part of your normal routine, there is actually less to remember and much less work.

Think about it: you don’t make a list of things you need to do when you get up every morning, like shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, find your keys, find your phone, grab your purse/ briefcase, grab your coat, etc.  Likewise, you don’t use GPS to find your way home from work every day either.  In fact, these are the kinds of things most of us do on Auto Pilot because we have done them repeatedly. This is our goal with our Healthy Routine!

This is actually how I knew that my gym routine had become a habit: not only did I pack my gym bag in the morning on gym days without a reminder, I also drove to the gym without thinking about it! Yes, it took time to develop this habit, but once it became a part of my routine I had to remind myself not to bring my gym bag on holidays when the gym closed early! The gym is one less thing for me to focus on, which means I can focus my attention on something else I want to work on in my Healthy Routine, like going to bed on time!

There is a bonus once we remember to do One Thing and that is we keep making progress even if we aren’t doing everything we want on our Healthy Routine.  While we may be struggling with the work outs or the meditation, once we’ve got the lunch time walking and the healthy dinners down pat, those habits are still moving us towards our goals! We are still making progress and the more we build on a strong foundation, the faster we progress to our goals.  We just need to be patient and remember: One Thing.