As Perfect As We Need to Be: Weight Loss & Perfection

Many of us are familiar with the idea of “progress, not perfection.” In fact it is one of the slogans at my gym and I think it’s the right idea.  The problem with slogans however is that too many of us spout them and repeat them to others without stopping to think about what they really mean. One example from my own life (sooo embarrassing!): when I was learning to drive, an older experienced driver told me that before I pull out into traffic, no matter which way I am turning, look left right before I pull out because those are the drivers that will hit me first. I followed his advice, although I never really thought about it and years later when I was teaching my cousin to drive, I repeated the advice to her. Her face lit up: “Oh yeah! That’s smart advice!”  Me –thinking: “It is?? Why?? [pause] Oh, yeahhhh….” Translation: “Duhhhhhh!”

It is smart advice and it’s too bad I’d never considered it until my younger cousin made me think about what it meant! But this is how ideas can be passed around and not put into practice, despite being repeated on a regular basis. Too many of us see pithy slogans, repeat them to ourselves and others and then go on our merry way doing things the way we’ve always done them, and if that’s not the way that works for us, we get frustrated.  “Why does X work for everyone else but me?!”  Umm.. are you sure that it’s right for you??

There are a lot of us who fall into the “I can’t do XYZ” category.  As in, “I can’t eat Primal/ Paleo because I need a certain amount of carbs each day or my blood sugar drops too low;” or “I can’t be keto because my doctor wants me to limit my fat.”  Whatever your doctor told you, listen to your doctor! But when you use the ‘doctor’s orders’ for your excuse for not losing weight, there’s a problem!

No one begins at a perfect starting point! Even fitness gurus like Chris Powell and Jillian Michaels started out less than perfect! While they look amazing now, what we are seeing is the Final Product, not the First Draft.  No one- in weight loss or anything else– started out perfect their first time around.  The hang-up comes when we want to be as perfect as possible the first time out or even before we start.  We want to begin from a perfect starting point so we can get to the Final Product as soon as we can.  It’s an admirable sentiment, however unrealistic it is. There is no Universal Perfect Starting Point; there is just where we choose to start!

While I realize I might be making some enemies here, I don’t believe either Chris Powell or Jillian Michaels are perfect.  They look great and are in great shape, but I’m sure if you ask either of them to point out things about themselves they wish were better, they’d have a few items on the list!  Each of us excels at pointing out our flaws.  When we stand in front of a mirror and our friends and family tell us how great we look, we still think “yeah, except for my hips/ my chest/  my neck/ my butt/ my thighs/ my whatever.”

This is where the idea of perfection has gotten stuck in our heads.  We want to eat perfectly.  We want to work out perfectly.  We want to look as perfect as we can.  Those are very admirable goals, but again, how realistic are they?  Is anything or anyone in this world perfect? Who is eating the perfect diet? Who is doing the perfect work out?  Even if they are ‘perfect’ most of the time, what they are doing is ‘perfect’ for them!  There are people who eat a lot of veggies like leeks and kale and tomatoes.  That’s great, if you aren’t sensitive to allium veggies, cruciferous veggies or nightshades!  Some people have trouble with the excessive sulfur in allium veggies like leeks, onions, garlic, etc.  People with thyroid conditions are sometimes told to limit their cruciferous veggies like kale, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, etc.  For some of us, we are just sensitive to nightshades (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes). So when you look at someone else’s ‘perfect’ diet, it might be worse for you than the diet you are following now!  The same with their ‘perfect workout’: what works for them might hurt you!

[What sparked this particular post might seem fairly far afield. As a ‘recovering English major,’ I was reviewing John Milton’s Paradise Lost. (Talk about a heavy unrelated topic!)  But the commentary I recall most from my classes about this epic poem is that while God made humans flawed and imperfect, He made them as perfect as they need to be. Adam and Eve had everything they needed to exist forever in Eden.  They were lacking nothing but through their own choices were cast out of Paradise. Their choices were not imperfections.]

Whether you are Christian or not, the fact remains that each of us has the skills and ability we need to lose weight, eat better and be more active.  We don’t need to start at perfection and perfection as a goal remains relative.  What works great for me might not work at all for my sister or my friends. Each of us needs to begin at our own starting point and move forward.  Some of us might be starting at a much lower benchmark than others and some of us might not ever reach as high as someone else’s midpoint!  We need to seek our own perfect eating plan and fitness plan and stop comparing ourselves to others.  It’s okay to try something someone else is having success with eating or doing, but if it’s a huge failure for you, it’s not your failure! You did not fail- this particular tool just doesn’t work for you. One of my favorite podcasters, Elizabeth Benton (Primal Potential) has a favorite recipe that she eats often.  She calls it her ‘cabbage bowl’ which has raw shredded cabbage, bacon, an egg and usually avocado. She leaves the yolk runny and uses it with the avocado to make a kind of dressing.  If I had to eat raw runny egg yolk, I would seriously throw up! It’s one of the few foods that I have detested all my life.  (I only eat really hard cooked egg yolk with enough hot sauce on it to kill the taste!) I eat a lot of the other stuff in that recipe but not the egg! Does that mean my diet isn’t perfect? Not at all! It means the bacon avocado coleslaw I have is what works for me.

There is no reason to compare yourself against anyone else.  You are unique and while there are some basic healthy human guidelines to follow, no one else can tell you that you’re a failure for not eating or working out like they do.  Are you eating healthier, according to you? Are you being more active than you used to be?  If the answers to those are yes, then you are doing just fine, and if you think you can make improvements, great! As long as they work for you!  If they aren’t working out for you, find something that does, and odds are, it won’t be someone else’s eating or workout plan!

Weight Loss & Confidence: The Confidence Has to Come First

Most of you know I am a rabid fan of My 600 lb Life on TLC, mainly because it’s my version of a 12 step program: it reminds me of where I came from and points out some of the common pitfalls.  I noticed on the most recent episodes that Dr. Nowzaradan has a large cardboard display in his waiting room.  The display shows a shapely happy young woman and the text reads: “Take weight off. Put CONFIDENCE ON!”

I know as a rule the better you feel about yourself, the more confident you feel.  I also know that being happy, being confident and liking yourself have very little to do with how much you do, or don’t, weigh.

I watch a lot of movies and one that I really like is Runaway Jury, with John Cusack, Rachel Weisz and the incomparable Gene Hackman.  He plays a jury analyst who finds the weak spots in the jurors and then pressures them to vote his way.  There’s a scene in the movie where he and his team are watching footage of potential jurors to pick out their weaknesses and one of them is an overweight woman walking down the street.  As she passes a man walking a large dog, she moves to the other side of the sidewalk and one of Hackman’s team comments “she’s definitely self-conscious about her weight!” Hackman remarks “Maybe she just doesn’t like dogs.”

There’s always a lot of talk in the weight loss and fitness arenas about being comfortable in your own skin. This doesn’t mean you have to love everything about your body but it means you have to accept who you are.  To paraphrase the Serenity Prayer, there are things about myself I can change, there are things I can’t, and I need to accept the ones I can’t.  In spite of those things I’d like to change if I could, I still need to be comfortable with who I am.

Example: even if I reach and maintain my ideal body weight, I will never be tall. I am 5’4″ and other than getting shorter as I grow older, my height isn’t going to change. I will also never have delicate wrists and ankles.  My wrists and ankles will always be as thick as a man’s.  No matter how much weight I lose, this won’t change more than a little bit because they aren’t thick because of fat- it’s the actual bones! All those lovely graceful bracelets and ankelets my classmates wore in high school were not made for wrists and ankles the size of a guy’s so all I could do was envy them.  I think I resented this fact of life even more than I resented being fat! I knew I could change my weight but bones? Not likely! Even plastic surgery wasn’t going to give me graceful little ankles like my sister has or the tiny delicate wrists that my cousins have- I am stuck with the “tree trunks” like my aunts and grandma!

Accepting who you are is where confidence starts.  Once you’ve accepted who you are, you begin to feel more secure in yourself.  You know what your capabilities are and what you need help with. Knowing your limitations and your strengths allows you to feel more confident in your job and in dealing with others, and it has nothing to do with how much you weigh.  But if you are not confident in who you are, then you are going to have a problem when you want to make any kind of positive changes in your life and this includes weight loss!

Confidence comes from inner strength and this is where change begins.  If you don’t have the strength to make the necessary changes to improve your life, your health and your eating, how do you expect to make any positive changes at all?  Most people acknowledge confidence and inner strength are necessary for a lot of life-improvements like going to school or changing jobs, but when it comes to weight loss, that gets left behind.  You need to have inner strength and confidence in yourself to make those changes too!  These start with things like saying no to old habits and temptations.  Even if you don’t quite know where to start, you do know that junk food is not going to be helpful, so you can always start by saying no to those temptations! It’s harder if you are the only one in your family who eats those things or has a weight issue.  We all know it’s hard enough saying no to the potato chip craving or Oreos & ice cream habit without being surrounded by family members who are happily indulging!

It takes a certain amount of confidence to watch other people eating the things you love and say no. Sometimes your friends and family members will try to coax you into joining in, either because they don’t want you to feel left out, they feel guilty for indulging in front of you or just feel guilty for eating it period! Remember all those lectures you heard in high school about saying no to peer pressure? This is where they come in handy! You need to have the strength and confidence to say no even if it’s your favorite pizza!

Sometimes the confidence comes in being independent. Doing something differently than you’ve done before or something different from what everyone else does can be a struggle. It makes you feel like you’re standing out in a field with a great big target on your head. In my office, most of the other workers get takeout.  They walk in with their bags and boxes and sometimes the whole office smells like nachos or Chinese.  I usually have tuna that I prepare in our kitchenette.  Hmm… burrito bowl or tuna fish?  Since we’ve moved to a new location, there are a lot of local restaurants that actually have some healthier options like a lettuce wrap ‘sandwich’ or the burrito bowl, technically, I can ‘eat healthy’ and still have takeout.  I have done it a few times before we had a fridge installed, but even though it’s still ‘healthy,’ it’s also more expensive than I like and it’s still more calories than the tuna. Do I want to blow that many calories on a burrito bowl when I can use them for something I might prefer at dinner?  Frankly, I’d rather have a bowl of strawberries than a burrito bowl or a lettuce-wich, so I stick with the tuna! It’s tempting to follow the crowd and order out or go pick it up, but I know what works for me and my budget and it isn’t takeout!

Confidence in ourselves means that we accept the fact that we might screw it up on occasion. No one gets everything right all the time and especially not the first time! Welcome to the Human Race! Certain things happen when we fail: we learn from our mistakes! Not only do we learn what we did wrong but we also learn a little humility too. There will always be people who revel in the failure of others and those are the people who use someone’s mistake to make themselves feel better about themselves.  Don’t be intimidated by that person! They are the ones who are afraid everyone will see how small and insecure they really are. They are the ones without confidence, without strength and without independence.  They’re the ones who give up, follow the crowd and won’t try anything new without first seeing how the ‘Guinea pigs’ fared.

Being confident in yourself means when you look at yourself and your life, you are happy with what you see and the person you are is someone you like.  If this isn’t the case, it’s your choice to stay that person or change for the better.  No one can do it for you, especially with weight loss! We must all decide for ourselves: are we worth the effort to make the changes or not?  Yes, we are!

Playing to Lose: Weight Loss & The Blame Game

We’ve all played this particular game! Whether it involves weight loss or not, we’ve all blamed our failures on someone else at some point in our lives.  Usually we’re angry at being embarrassed or called to answer for our failing, or we just don’t want to take responsibility for not reaching our goals. There’s always a reason that prevented us from doing what we were supposed to do!

Sometimes, there really is a reason, such as I was supposed to get these documents done, but I needed material from someone who failed to provide it therefore, the documents aren’t completed.  When my boss asks why, my answer is simple: “I can’t present information I don’t have.”  The problem comes when confuse ‘reasons’ and ‘excuses.’

When it comes to eating, we are used to looking for excuses.  I know I am! One of the typical excuses is “I forgot my lunch so I had to order out and there weren’t any healthy options available!” That’s an excuse to eat junk food. A reason to eat junk food? Hmmm….. [sound of crickets here]…..I honestly can’t think of a reason for eating junk food. Unless your blood sugar is dangerously low, you can probably wait to eat until there’s a healthier option.  Incidentally, it takes about a teaspoon of sugar to even out your blood glucose, which is why many diabetics have a piece of hard candy around in case their sugar does drop that low.  One piece of hard candy, as in a little Jolly Rancher! Certainly not a burger, fries, and a Coke! The point is that we want to eat what we want to eat, whether it’s healthy or not, and lacking a legitimate reason to scarf down cookies, we come up with an excuse and use that instead.

Sometimes getting it wrong is a reason for not reaching weight loss goals.  We thought we were doing the right thing, but it turns out we were wrong! This happens a lot with things like salad dressing.  We bought the Lite dressing because it has “50% fewer calories than our original!” We just miss the part that says the original has 300 calories per two tablespoons! So that Lite dressing still has 150 calories in an ounce (since one tablespoon is a half-ounce!) Then there’s the whole sense of portion size! We pour on some dressing, eyeball it and yeah, that’s about a couple ounces, thinking one tablespoon is one ounce! So instead of getting it right with the Lite salad dressing, we’re actually getting it all wrong: we’re getting 300 calories in the dressing alone on that salad! As many practiced dieters know, that’s where the calories are in salad and vegetables- it’s usually what we put on them to make them ‘delicious’!

When we fail at reaching our goals or we go off track, it’s embarrassing to admit that you wanted the cupcakes or the chips more than you wanted to lose weight.  It’s admitting that you can’t control your cravings or that your desire for whatever food you ate is more important to you than being healthy.  It feels like you’re choosing to be sick or fat or unhappy rather than be thinner, fitter and more confident.  No one wants to think, let alone admit, that we chose to be fat rather than saying no to Oreos.  Surely we couldn’t have made that choice, so there must be some reason that we had to eat the Oreos, the Ruffles or the cheeseburger! Someone or something else must be to blame!

While blaming someone or something else might soothe your conscience for a little while, it has some toxic side effects.  It robs you of responsibility and your free will.  If there is always someone or something else keeping you from making good choices, then you have no free will at all: you are constantly at the mercy of others or fate or whoever you are blaming for your poor choices! How can you improve if the deck is always stacked against you? The fact is, unless someone held you down and force-fed you Krispy Kremes and Whoppers, you chose to eat those foods. Your failing to take responsibility for those choices by blaming circumstance is not helping you. It’s keeping you helpless and keeping you from making progress. When we are constantly blaming others, we start seeing excuses everywhere and we become locked into that thought pattern, and once locked in, it’s hard to get out. We get in the habit of choosing the excuse instead of choosing to be responsible.

Recently I wrote about healthy eating on the road which is a common excuse for eating junk food.  You and your family stop at a fast food restaurant while on a long car trip and everyone is ordering burgers, fries, and soda. You see there is a salad on the menu but you really want the burger meal everyone else is ordering. Excuse: “It’s too hard to eat a salad sitting in a car since I have to hold the bowl or balance it on my lap, so I have to have the burger.”  You wanted a “reason” to have to eat the burger and you found one, but you really have a choice.  You can choose the salad and while it might be more difficult, you can still eat it or you can ask your family to eat in the restaurant rather than eat on the road.  How long does it take to eat a salad- fifteen or twenty minutes?

Another example: your family wants pizza on movie night so you go to a pizza place and everyone is eating the pizza. They have a salad bar but rather than “making everyone uncomfortable by choosing to eat healthy,” you choose the pizza.  Or maybe you say you want the salad bar but everyone cajoles you into “living it up” and eating the pizza instead.  You chose to eat the pizza and everyone else’s feelings or opinions are the “reason you couldn’t have salad.”  This may sound a little harsh, but everyone else’s feelings and opinions are not your responsibility.  You are responsible for your feelings, your choices and your behavior.  You are also responsible for your health and while it may sound childish to think that you chose the pizza over your health, when you blame everyone else’s feelings for your “having to eat the pizza,” you are saying their feelings are more important than your health.  How foolish is that? Rather than bruise their feelings, you chose to eat a few thousand calories of pizza instead of a few hundred calories of salad bar!

It’s a difficult transition to make: moving from blaming circumstances to taking responsibility.  I’ve recently been responsible for choosing sweet potato chips over my regular salad, as well as way too much whipped cream on my strawberries.  And there’s been a few bags of pork rinds in there that I chose also! Why? Because they taste good and I wanted them.  I am not happy with myself for choosing them but no one held me hostage and forced me to eat them.  While this is where most people beat themselves up for these poor choices (as in “why did I do that? why do I sabotage myself?”), choosing to take responsibility instead of blaming some flaw in myself means I can make better choices! Choosing to be responsible doesn’t mean that I am choosing to live a life of abstinence. It simply means that I am responsible for my choices, good or bad. I am not at the mercy of circumstances or someone else or even my own failings: I made one choice- I can make another! I can choose to eat healthier foods and I can choose not to buy chips, whipped cream, or other junk foods I know will tempt me. I can choose not to put them in the grocery cart! This is part of being responsible and it’s the first step in making progress. I am choosing to take responsibility for my choices and I’m choosing not to play the Blame Game.

 

Opportunities v Problems: Your Attitude Makes a Difference!

We’ve probably all heard the optimistic aphorism “a stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet!” and while that sounds way too cheerful for me, there is a lot of truth to it.  The first time you met your best friend or your spouse/ significant other, they were a stranger to you.  Imagine how different your life would be if you didn’t meet them! This is the point of that perky little saying: you never know who that stranger will be in your life until you get to meet them, so keep an open mind.

When it comes to problems, we also need to keep an open mind.  What looks like a problem can actually be an opportunity if we keep an open mind. It may not be what you want or what you think it should be, but if you leave yourself open to the possibilities, who knows what can happen?

One of the tv shows I like to watch is Mysteries at the Museum (I’m a history geek!) and if there’s a common theme that runs throughout the show, it’s that a problem may be an opportunity you weren’t looking for. Some of the things that we use (and pretty much take for granted every day) were initially someone’s problem or failure.  These are things like super glue, kevlar and post-it notes.  Speaking for myself as an office worker, life is so much better with post-it notes! The point is that all of these things were initially seen as failures or problems by their inventors.  Kevlar started out to be a lightweight material for tires and although it eventually ended up in tires, how much more has it done for law enforcement and the military?  Super glue started out to be shatterproof sites for rifles but ended up fixing something for just about everyone! Post-it note glue was supposed to be another super sticky glue but in the end, its lack-of-stickiness turned out to be its saving grace!

While some failures and problems never amount to more than failures and problems, the point is that we will never know until we try seeing the situation from another angle.  If our attitude is simply: “this sucks!,” then yes, it most definitely sucks and that’s the end of that opportunity! When it comes to our eating habits, what looks like it might be a problem can actually be an opportunity to make healthy changes.  I know there are a lot of people who complain about not being able to stay on their diet while traveling. It’s a common theme on My 600 lb Life: “there’s no such thing as healthy fast food and there’s not a lot of healthy choices besides fast food!”  We all know it’s an excuse to eat the junk food they really want to eat, as anyone who has been to a McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Arby’s or even a KFC knows there are healthy choices available.  Almost every fast food restaurant at least offers a salad. How yummy it is may be debatable, but in my experience Wendy’s and Arby’s offers the best salad options, and KFC offers real grilled chicken instead of breaded and fried.  When you stop for gas, you don’t have buy donuts, candy and soda: you can usually get jerky, nuts, fruit and water.  There are also a lot of restaurants attached to gas stations and travel stops so you have more options there too! Staying overnight at a hotel has the best options since there are usually restaurants in walking distance and delivery (either via the restaurant or an app) is also a possibility.  We can either lock ourselves into Problem Mode (“X is my only choice!”) or you can keep an open mind and look at what else is possible. “Healthier fast food” doesn’t have to a ‘travel only’ option either; the next time your family wants burgers and fries, you can always say “okay” and order yourself the salad or bunless burger!

Even if something is a real genuine problem, keeping an open mind leaves yourself open to the positive.  Recently, my cable box died. It’s totally dead, won’t even come on and needs to be disconnected and replaced. This means I can’t do it until the weekend and since it died on a Monday night, yay…. a whole week without the tv…. While I don’t have a lot of programs I regularly watch (generally 3-4 nights a week), I am pretty loyal to those I do, so it’s a major inconvenience,viewing-wise. Getting a replacement is going to be a huge hassle I am not looking forward to and will probably take up a good part of my already crowded weekend! So I can grouse and moan and complain (of which I have already done plenty!) and leave it at that… OR I can look at what opportunities might be hidden in this obstacle.

On the first and most obvious level, it means I have a lot more free time than before! I confess: I went for the tv-substitute and streamed a lot of my Amazon Watchlist to my tablet! These were shows I’d been meaning to catch up on but didn’t have the time, so now that my regular tv is unavailable- Hello Detective Bosch! Seasons Three and Four are now on my To-Do list! It also means that since mindless eating and tv seem to go hand-in-hand, although this is the tv-subsitute, I don’t typically “watch” my tablet in the living room where the tv is.  I watch it in the bedroom, where eating options are a bit more problematic.  As in, it’s too easy for a furry housemate to stick his or her nose in my dinner plate! So dinner this week has been eaten without being glued to the ‘television’ and there’s less opportunities for snacking, wandering back and forth between the living room and fridge/ pantry.  As for the furballs, they love being in the bedroom since we’re all pretty much on the same level: more fetch and more playtime.  Overall it means there’s just been less tv , more pet-time and more sleep! Geez! Less eating, less temptation, more play and more sleep! Yikes! What an horrendous ordeal this has been!

Of course, it’s still going to be a headache getting the cable box exchanged and everything set up so I’ll be up and running.  The point is that I can look at this as a little adventure, camping out with the tablet or I can simply view it as a problem.  I’m also viewing it as an opportunity to clean out the cabinet where the cable box goes! Since we’ve already got to ‘dismantle’ all those cords and wires, why not make some improvements to that mess? While I certainly don’t want to come off as some perky little Pollyanna when it comes to obstacles and problems, how we react to them is entirely up to us. After moaning and grousing about my ‘new problem,’ I looked at my options and came up with something that works for me in the interim.  Of course, Set-Up Saturday with the new cable box might be an entirely different obstacle…….

 

Watch Where You’re Going! Weight Loss & “Constant Vigilance”

We’ve all heard the phrase “keep your chin up!” It’s supposed to keep you feeling like a success and encourage you to stay strong.  It also really helps if you want to know where you are going. Realistically, if you don’t watch where you are walking, you will probably trip over something, but it also works for weight loss since if you don’t watch where your weight loss is going, you probably won’t get there.

While I’m not necessarily talking about tracking (people react so negatively to that term!), I am suggesting that not paying attention is a proven method for failure.  Not paying attention makes it easy to give in to excuses, to make exceptions and to ‘plan for later,’ until one day you get on the scale and realize that you’ve not lost any more weight or — horrors!you’ve gained! How the heck did that happen?!

Not to be a nag, but if you were paying attention, you’d know how that happened! And if you are honest with yourself, looking back, it’s fairly obvious how that number got on the scale. For those of you who are Harry Potter fans, you might remember Professor Mad-Eye Moody’s refrain of “Constant vigilance!” and while you don’t have to be super strict with yourself, being aware and paying attention are the most important parts of weight loss.  That simply means if you’re out with friends on a Friday night, it’s okay to choose the jalapeno poppers and beer as long as you are aware that they’re not going to be ‘fat loss friendly’ and that making a weekly habit of them is going to slow (or stop) your weight loss unless you make some adjustments to your eating plan to take out some things that you enjoy less.  While this seems like a no-brainer, the problem comes with making exception after exception or ‘adjustment after adjustment’ until we have ‘adjusted’ our way from weight loss to weight gain.

There are a lot of dieters who simply refuse to track because “I know what I eat!”  Unfortunately, these are often the same people who get up one day and wonder why their pants feel a little snug and then when they get on the scale or take out the tape measure, are shocked to discover that they’ve put on a few pounds. It’s like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky! “How could I have gained weight?!”  Well, if they had tracked what they ate, they’d have a pretty good idea of where those pounds came from: the month of Fridays out with friends; the bagels they had a couple times or more a week for the last three weeks; that pizza party for the kid’s birthday along with the cake and ice cream… and hot dogs, chips, wings and pretzels at the baseball game, and then there was dinner out with friends (pasta, garlic bread and tiramisu with wine).  Those ‘exceptions’ to our healthy eating plan somehow stopped being actual ‘exceptions’ and pretty much became the rule.  They probably felt like true exceptions at the time, since they were most likely spread out over a month or more, but when taken together, it seems pretty obvious that they really aren’t aberrations to how you eat any more. That’s what makes tracking so valuable.  We really do forget what we ate and how much we ate, even if we really are paying attention. We look at the big plate of pasta and garlic bread and think “yeah, I’ll remember eating this!”  Maybe for a day or so, but after a week, when our friends suggest the nachos and beer out at the pub, we may not remember that Tuesday night pasta on Saturday night.  Or those bagel bites we had on the Wednesday morning meeting. Or that we had small slice of cake on Monday because it was Cheryl-at-the-office’s birthday.  All these things add up and on Sunday when we stand on the scale or whip out the tape measure, we might be a bit perplexed that there’s no loss.  Instead of being confused and wondering why you hit a plateau, if you had a record of what you’ve eaten for the past week, you could see why that ‘plateau’ is really just poor eating choices.

Tracking your food doesn’t mean that you have to weigh everything you eat and count each nut and seed that goes in your mouth.  It’s really as simple as watching where you are going and noting where you have been.  If it’s a handful of macadamias, you don’t need to weigh them.  If it’s a small slice of cake, you don’t have to ‘estimate the ounces’ or what’s in the frosting– you just need to make a note of what you ate.  Writing it down as you eat it or at the end of the day is the least you need to do.  Although I have an app on my phone, I like using a paper food journal since it’s easier for me to flip through.  I like putting it in the app right after or before I eat it so I don’t have the time to ‘adjust’ the portion sizes.  (It’s amazing that a half a bagel at noon can seem more like a a third of a bagel by the evening- it wasn’t that big, was it?)

This is part of the same thing that happens after a month or so of ‘exceptions.’  “I’ve been really good/ really trying, so why did I gain weight?” The stark black and white reality of what actually passed through your lips explains those extra pounds on your hips! When you- or since we’re being honest here- I flip back over the past weeks, and there’s page after page with entries like “bread,” “cookies,” “frozen yogurt,” “chocolate,” “chocolate,” “dark chocolate” (just to change things up!), it’s pretty obvious why my bathing suit is a little tighter than it used to be.  I can blame ‘poor sleep’ and ‘lots of stress’ all I want but until I pay more attention to all those ‘exceptions,’ I’m not going to be losing any more weight!

However you choose to pay attention, watching where you are going as well as where you have been are good strategies for making sure you end up where you want to be! Even if it’s just in the Notes app on your phone, if you decide to eat something not fat loss friendly, it wouldn’t hurt to write it down in the Notes, so when your friends ask you if you want nachos and beer this weekend, you can open your app, remember that pasta and garlic bread on Tuesday and opt for either just the beer, just the nachos or neither.  You don’t have to be Constantly Vigilant, but keeping an eye out for trouble can keep you from unwanted surprises.

Information Isn’t Action: Weight Loss Requires Activity!

When it comes to weight loss, too many people think the activity I’m referring to means working out, going to the gym or walking or some kind of exercise.  While exercise has its place in weight loss, what I mean is that you must take action to lose weight.  Reading a nutrition or diet book is not action: it’s research.  I can read every diet book that comes out this year and still not lose a pound unless I actually do something such as implementing the strategies in those diet books.

This distinction confuses a lot of people and it’s completely understandable.  We take the time to read the diet/ nutrition books; we buy the yoga CDs (I’ve got dozens of those- still in the wrappers!) and we think we are ‘making progress!’  As in, “I’m planning to lose weight and exercise more and I’ve got my strategy all mapped out!”  But until you put that strategy into action, you ain’t gonna be losing weight!  Take my yoga CDs: I really really want to start yoga, as evidenced by the CDs and books stacked on my bookcase.  How good am I at yoga? Not started it! I’ve got the mat and strap and bolster literally buried in my closet but I’ve not used them. So how good am I at yoga? I’m guessing I pretty much suck since I’ve not tried in the last 15 years or so.  But I really really want to! Little clue here: you have to do it in order to make progress!

So why haven’t I done anything with my yoga practice? Oh, the usual excuses: “I don’t have time”; “I don’t know if I’m doing it right”; “I’m afraid I might hurt myself”; “I can’t afford the classes”; blah blah blah. The point is that while I have all the resources and tools to practice yoga, they are gathering dust and I am making no progress at all really fast! However, I don’t expect that I’ll be magically good at yoga just because I have all the tools and information at my fingertips, but when it comes to weight loss, there are a lot of people who get lost in the research and strategizing.

I’ve got another confession here: I really love research! I love reading a new book or magazine about health or listening to a new podcast about being healthier. The problem is that reading about health and weight loss and listening to other people talk about getting fitter does not improve my health and fitness unless and until I actually put these ideas into action. I can’t tell you how much I’ve heard and read about the ketogenic diet and Intermittent Fasting, but I can also tell you that I am most definitely not in ketosis! Why? Because I haven’t made the changes in my diet necessary to get into ketosis. [I did try keto and decided I didn’t like it very much, ergo not eating keto!]

It seems simple: if you want to make progress, you have to take action. Research, although it feels like you are doing something, really isn’t action. It is accumulating information.  What you do with that information determines how much progress you make. Too many of us get lost in the informational weeds because we want to lose weight ‘the right way,’ or we just plain don’t know what to do or where to begin.  Those are all good starting points but we have to remember they are only starting points! Once we have a plan or a beginning, we have to begin doing something with that information we’ve so carefully accumulated.

Which brings us back to my yoga non-practice.  The honest real reason I haven’t tried yoga? It intimidates the bloody hell out of me! Despite reading all the books and watching the CDs, I truly don’t know if I can get into some of those poses and if I get there, how the hell do I get out of them? What if I get stuck or hurt myself? What if I just look stupid? Hello! That’s why we practice! No one can reasonably expect a beginner to do anything perfectly the first time or even the hundredth time! It’s a progression and until we actually begin doing it, we aren’t making progress!

This is one of the pitfalls of too much information gathering: we are afraid we won’t do it right or that we’ll be unable to do it.  Seriously, not-doing it is the biggest way to mess it up! Allowing yourself to be intimidated is a sure way to keep you from making any progress towards your goals or even from trying anything new.  Aside from not making any progress, it can keep you from doing something you turn out to enjoy.  And as for doing it ‘wrong,’ every professional started out as an amateur.  Mozart may have been a prodigy, but the first time he stepped up to a piano, he still had to figure out which key was what note! Even failure can teach you since now you know what not to do! Everything takes practice!

While we may learn the basic framework through information gathering aka ‘research,’ it only benefits us when we put that knowledge into action. This is why doctors spend years in residence: book knowledge is so very different than actually doing the procedures.  I can read all about Intermittent Fasting and learn all the tips and tricks for getting through a seven day water fast, but again actually fasting for seven days only drinking water is a whole ‘nother experience! And that’s the key word: experience.  Experience is true knowledge and it only comes through action.  The more experience you have with your weight loss process, the more you know about your body, what works for you and what doesn’t (i.e., me & keto). It’s great to read about different supplements, different fasting regimens and different recipes or eating plans, but unless and until you put that information into action, you are only wasting your time and not making progress! If you are serious about weight loss, you need to do something about it, and reading about it doesn’t count! [Now I need to get off my butt and dig that dang yoga mat out of the closet!]

 

Fearlessly Being You: Weight Loss & Liking Who You Are

I am sure we are all familiar with the self-help mantras “you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you,” and the ever-popular Serenity Prayer. I accept that these mantras have merit, but they’re a little too mainstream for me.  I much prefer the somewhat quirky “wherever you go, there you are!”  I feel it not only speaks to where you are in life, but who you are as well.

One of the newer podcasts I’ve been listening to is The Wellness Force podcast with Josh Trent and while I’m still not sure he’s going to fit with my lifestyle, one of the recent podcasts he had was with professional volleyball player Kelly Claes who used an expression that really resonated with me: “fearlessly authentic.”  The inspirational quote app that I use updated earlier this year and now allows me to create tags for my favorite quotes and the first tag I created is “#fearless.”  Simply put: sometimes you need to be fearless to get where you want to go!

Most of us start out life with our parents setting our goals and aspirations.  This is pretty normal: as a kid, you really don’t know what’s what so you look to your parents for guidance and somewhere along the line, you realize you don’t want to be a doctor or a teacher but an artist or a baseball player or an engineer.  You start finding yourself and finding your own way.  Again, this is pretty normal.

But when you’re a kid and you’re overweight, you face some different obstacles. Most parents either believe ‘it’s a phase’ and you’ll ‘grow out of it’ or they start trying to guide you out of it. Sometimes their guidance is encouraging you to be more active, play sports or eat healthier foods.  Sometimes, it’s humiliation and recrimination. Even if they don’t mean to do it, sometimes it feels like their love and acceptance hinges on how much you do or don’t weigh. They may not ever say it, but we feel their disappointment and disapproval of our weight and from those unspoken feelings, we begin to feel that we are simply inadequate, lacking and a failure.

Growing up is hard enough without feeling like you are a failure as a person. While this post is about weight loss and obesity, it happens to kids for all kinds of things: not being pretty enough; not being a good enough athlete; not being smart enough.  Parents don’t mean to do it, but they place their own expectations on their children and when they fall short of those expectations, the child internalizes the disappointment as being their own personal failure. When it comes to weight loss, it can lead to a lifetime eating disorder, among other things. Generally children who feel inadequate either begin to crave their parents’ approval or they go the opposite direction. (Guess which way I went!)

For me as an overweight child, I was constantly being told “if only you lost weight, [insert good thing here].”  If I lost weight, I’d have boys lining up at my door.  If I lost weight, I could wear all the pretty clothes.  If I lost weight, I could have a whole new wardrobe.  Basically, if I lost weight, I’d be perfect.

Except I didn’t lose weight.  I stayed obese and after years of failing to win my mom’s approval (she was the most critical), I eventually gave up trying to get something I was so obviously never going to get.  (While my dad wasn’t exactly happy with my weight either, he was more focused on other goals such as college and a career.) This is where I learned to be fearless when it came to being me.

What I mean by “fearless” is that I simply stopped apologizing for being obese and not being perfect. It also means that I accepted myself for the person I was at that time and not who I was going to be at some time in the future.  This is paramount because until we accept who we are right now, we’ll always be stuck putting off our lives until some future time ‘when we’re thinner.’ While you’re probably thinking that’s a no-brainer, this idea sometimes gets internalized with the “I’m not good enough” mentality and before you realize it, it’s part of who we are.  Unfortunately, it’s usually the part that holds us back from living the life we want.

One of the constants on My 600 lb Life is patients saying how they need to have surgery so “I can get my life back” or “start living my life.”  Many of them probably never considered that their lives don’t have to be on hold because of their weight.

Obviously there are a lot of issues behind their compulsive overeating but I think a portion of it comes from that ‘waiting to be perfect’ mentality. They can’t move forward because they believe there is something wrong with the person they are right now. Being morbidly obese- and especially super morbidly obese- is a fact of life that has to be dealt with but when you put your life on hold until you are ‘fixed,’ it can mean waiting forever. Most of are familiar with the ‘perfect outfit’ in our closet that we can’t wear until we lose 20 lbs or so, and we hang onto it until it’s no longer in style and we have to give it away without ever wearing it… and we replace it with another perfect outfit we’ll never wear. Imagine that’s your life: always waiting for it to ‘start’ until you’ve got no time left.

Wherever- and whoever- you are is all you’ve got. There were a lot of times I was rejected because of my weight. I was told I wouldn’t advance or be successful in some jobs because of my weight, that guys wouldn’t find me attractive because of my weight, that my weight was always going to hold me back from doing things I wanted to do. Some of these statements were and still are true.

But I’ve lived all my adult life obese, mostly around 375 lbs. Once I learned to stop apologizing for being fat and imperfect and fearlessly live my life on my terms, my weight took a backseat to the rest of my life. Yes, there were times it got in the way and there were a lot of times I wished I were thinner. FYI: I also wished I were taller, too! But for most of my life I refused to let my weight make me miserable.

When my weight did finally become a problem I had to deal with, it still took a backseat to an even bigger problem, mainly my depression over The Job From Hell. That job seriously made me hate my life and who I’d become and it wasn’t until I dealt with that as well as the mental and emotional fallout from that job that I was able to deal with my weight. When I learned to like myself again, it gave me the strength to take advantage of new and unexpected opportunities which led to some serious weight loss.

Even though I’ve lost nearly 170 lbs, most of the world still considers me obese. There are a lot of family members who would be happier if I lost another 100 lbs. I’m still eating healthy and I’m still being as active as I can be, but my weight doesn’t define me anymore now than it did when I was 375. I am still more than just the number on the scale. For most of my life, I liked and accepted myself for the person I was, and I like who I am now. The difference is that now I’m 170 lbs lighter. It was my acceptance of myself that gave me the strength to grow and succeed and make the necessary changes. My acceptance of who I am gives me the courage to live fearlessly and do what’s right for me instead of following advice that doesn’t work for me, whether it’s for weight loss or anything else. If I hadn’t had the strength and courage to live fearlessly, I’d never have tried the Paleo diet; I’d never have gone to a gym or tried water aerobics; I’d never have joined My Fitness Pal, or started blogging, and I’d likely never have lost the weight I’ve lost. Liking myself, accepting myself and trusting myself has allowed me to continue growing into someone I like better who is happier and healthier than she used to be. But weight loss isn’t what’s made me happier and healthier: it’s the byproduct of learning to like myself again.

Sometimes we think we know where we’re going. We all have an idea of where we want to be but a lot of times, that’s not where we end up. That’s why I like that quirky mantra so much: “wherever you go, there you are!” And if you don’t like where you are, have the courage to go somewhere else!

Keep Your Eyes on the Road! Weight Loss & Losing Focus

This one can be a little tricky because it can look like we are staying focused when we really are all over the place.  The best analogy I can think of is driving.  As some of you know, I spend about four hours on the road every work day so at the end of the week, I’ve logged another 20 hours of driving.  Most of it is on the freeway, and I really don’t mind the drive much because it’s when I listen to podcasts and audiobooks.

My commute takes me down Highway 99 in California and as you leave the Sacramento/ Elk Grove area, southbound 99 goes from four lanes to three and then to two as you move from the urban to the rural. Normally, my drive home is about two hours and there’s usually a little congestion there due to the decreasing lanes and onramps.  There was one day when I was stuck in that area for about an hour in stop and go traffic! It should have taken me about ten minutes to get past the Elk Grove Auto Mall and into the outlying region which also has stop and go traffic (about 20 minutes to get out of the city and into the country).

Being stuck in that traffic for so long was frustrating but I naturally assumed there was construction or an accident ahead of me and since there was nothing I could do about it, I was as patient as I could be.  As I came alongside the frontage road, I started seeing a commotion in front of the little grocery off the freeway and as I grew closer, I realized there were about five police cruisers parked in front of it, all with their lights on.  I remember thinking “what’s going on there?” and kept driving… until I realized the cars in front of me were slowing down, pausing, then accelerating back to freeway speed.  ARE. YOU. FREAKING’. KIDDING. ME?!?!

Nope! Not kidding! That entire hour-long slowdown was due to all the Rubberneckers slowing down to get a look at what was happening on the frontage road. It probably wouldn’t have been so maddening to me except that Rubberneckers are a pet peeve of mine.  It’s one thing to slow down or change lanes if there’s someone broken down on the side of the road: that’s just a safety issue since there could be pedestrians on the roadside.  Too many of them slow down to get a good look at what’s happening: that guy’s changing a tire! There’s an accident!

Yeah, it’s an accident! And if you don’t watch where you’re going, you’re going to have one too!  That’s pretty much what happens with our weight loss if we aren’t careful: we’re too busy watching what someone else is doing, what’s the Hot Trend du Jour, or looking for what’s up and coming.  We are so focused on Someone or Something Else to see what’s happening with us.  In driving, you’re watching the cars on the side of the road and don’t see that the car in front of you has stopped or slowed down until your front end is in her backseat! In weight loss, you’re reading about Intermittent Fasting or trying the latest protein bars or shakes and aren’t paying attention to how your body is reacting to what you are doing today.  Even worse, by the time your body tells you that the new protein shakes don’t agree with you, you’ve moved on to the trendy new supplement! So now, when you get the godawful cramps and bloating, you think it’s the supplement doing that to you.  It could be, but it could also be the protein shakes you were doing before that, or it could be the combination of the shakes and the supplement or it could be that you cut back on your fiber, upped your dietary fat intake and began the shakes and then the supplement.  Place your bet and spin the wheel! Too many “or’s” in the water for me!

The point is that you are so busy being focused on “what’s going on over there?” that you aren’t focused on what’s in front of you, namely you, your body and your weight loss! You need to focus on you and what’s working or not working for you. Just because everyone is ‘going keto’ doesn’t mean that you have to go keto too. If what you are doing is working for you, as in you feel good physically and mentally, you are losing body fat, like what you’re eating and aren’t starving all the time, don’t fix what ain’t broken! Especially if  you’re only doing it to keep up with the latest trends!

If you aren’t getting the results that you want, then it’s time to make a responsible change.  Note that Responsible is in italics! That means give your body time to make the adjustment, which can be a week or more depending on your body.  You know how long it takes your body to adjust so make one (or two at most) change and see what happens. That way you’re not playing What’s Up with My Body Roulette and waste more time trying to guess what’s not working.

If you’re getting good results and think you can up your game, that’s something else.  If you’re already Paleo (or low carb) and want to try keto, give it a responsible attempt and see how that works out.  This way, if it doesn’t, you know there’s a proven plan you can go back to, and if it does work out for you, even better!

We all need to be less of a Rubbernecker and more focused when it comes to our weight loss.  I know it’s hard because I have to fight the urge myself when I hear about something new.  My own pet pitfall is Information Gathering, as in there’s always another book I want to read, another podcast to download or another supplement to try.  It’s enticing and they lure you in, just like those cars on the side of the road do to the Rubberneckers on the freeway.  Our curiosity gets the better of us and our ‘commute’ to better health ends up getting bogged down in traffic or sidelined with a major calamity.  Keep your eyes on your own road and avoid the distractions, even if you sometimes have to put on blinders to do it!

It Takes a Village to Lose Weight: Weight Loss & Community

We’ve all heard the expression “it takes a village to raise a child.” When it comes to weight loss, our idea of community is usually limited to a partner or an “accountabili-buddy.” What we don’t realize is that support is more than just a workout partner or a diet buddy: it really takes a village (or community).

That doesn’t mean we’re doomed to failure if we don’t have that community; it just means it’s going to be a lot harder than it has to be. A couple years before I quit The Job From Hell and really lost weight, the Associate I worked with told me about My Fitness Pal (MFP). He lost about 30-40 lbs using it and I didn’t. Even though I logged my meals, I didn’t have “friends” or even look at the Forums. Essentially, even though I was using an app with millions of users who could have been supportive, I was alone. After a few weeks, I gave up: I stopped logging, and I stopped trying.

When I went back to MFP, I browsed the Forums, I responded to others’ posts and I made friends. This community I’m now a part of isn’t just “you can do it!”: it’s a resource for new ideas, points of reference and explanations. This community is where I first learned about the ketogenic diet and ketosis, Intermittent Fasting, fat bombs, new recipes and- huge for me- the Primal Potential Podcast.

This is the place where I ask questions about how to try something new, if I’m not sure I’m doing it correctly, if I’m not sure about my results, or anything at all. If I need a recommendation about a product (like MCT oil), this is where I go. If I’m not getting the results I want with IF (Intermittent Fasting), they give their recommendations for what’s worked for them. Even if I’m not having an issue, they still provide new ideas or perspectives.

I also don’t want to minimize the importance of the “you can do it!” support. This is a safe place to vent frustrations, rants and feelings of all kinds. Naturally there’ve been times when I feel like I’m completely screwing up and losing control, so just posting on MFP for me is therapeutic. I don’t have to keep negative feelings inside where they can fester and I can share happy feelings as well. What I sometimes forget is that when we’re buried in the middle of a difficult situation, we lose perspective. There’ve been times when, after I’ve posted about it, I get a Reality Check from my friends letting me know that, yes, this is really a hard situation and I’m doing pretty good, all things considered! This was especially true the last four months of 2017. My sister was getting married out of state, I was originally just the wedding planner, ended up being the officiant, all of which meant getting everything arranged and myself certified- all in under ninety days! On top of that, my mom had major surgery which necessitated a three month stay in the hospital, which meant my dad (her ex-husband) and I had to take care of her two dogs (one a puppy) and her house. Then there was my own life: my pets, my house, working, commuting, weight loss, working out, friends and commitments. Yay, stress??

Posting my frustrations, stress freak- outs, rants and just “I feel incredibly overwhelmed!” helped me keep my focus where it needed to be and it also helped validate that: 1) I’m not crazy; 2) it’s okay to feel stressed; 3) I don’t have to be perfect; and 4) I’m going to get through this. The support I got from my friends on MFP was (and is) invaluable!

It also gives me the opportunity to support them. It may seem backwards, but being able to offer my support to them reinforces my focus on my own weight loss. There’s also something truly uplifting to be able to help someone else. These kinds of exchanges create an network that makes it harder for our goals to fall by the wayside. The community, diverse as it is, has a common focus on health and weight loss and it’s committed to reaching common goals.

I know it might seem touchy- feely but just knowing there’s a safe supportive place where you can vent about what the family did, how the job is screwing up our workouts, or how we’re having overwhelming chocolate cravings is an awesome stress reliever! It’s also the first place to go when we’ve got questions and the combination of support and information is unbeatable. The benefit of a ‘village’ is diverse generations of knowledge, experience and support to draw on. Why not use it?

Hang On- It’s Going to Get Bumpy! Weight Loss, Chaos & Staying Motivated

It would be nice if weight loss were smooth and linear, and while I’m wishing for the impossible, how about a million bucks, too?  We all know it’s easier to lose weight when nothing crazy is going on at work and you can eat the healthy lunch you brought without phones going off and people popping into your office asking “where are you on the Saunders project?”  It’s the same thing at home: when it’s calm, it’s easier, but usually the boys’ ride to soccer practice has to reschedule, the dog loses the fight with the neighbor’s cat and your spouse’s trip to Boston gets bumped up a couple of days to today.  Yay, chaos- also known as the Real World! This is pretty much how it is for most of us at home and at work.

It’s so so tempting to tell yourself “I’ll lose weight when it’s less stressful!” So…. let’s put it on our calendar for the second Tuesday from Never? Because that’s when it’s going to be ‘less stressful.’ There will always be fussy, high-maintenance clients, bosses and coworkers who hijack your time, and fly balls coming out of left field to disrupt your carefully orchestrated schedule.  And that’s just at work: when you have a family, especially with kids, you’ve pretty much joined the circus with every day being opening night until they move out.  Yup: the Real World is pure chaos!

I’m not telling you this so you get discouraged: I’m telling you this because most of us like order and schedules and plans.  We plan our healthy meals; we schedule our workouts and we make grocery lists full of nutritious whole foods.  Sounds lovely! We’ll be losing weight so fast…. until our meticulous plans meet our actual lives and suddenly, we’re doing the Seat of Our Pants Weight Loss Plan.  Instead of sauteed broccoli with meatballs and marinara, we’re suddenly doing frozen bunless burgers with bag salad.  Instead of the turkey lettuce wrap for lunch, we’re having hardboiled eggs with carrot sticks.  Instead of our water aerobics class on Wednesday, we’re doing laps in the pool on Thursday night.  It feels like we’re running to catch up and, even worse, it feels like we’re failing at weight loss.

Not true!In Real Life most of us pride ourselves on being flexible when it comes to work and family life.  That’s pretty much the way life works- things happen, we make an adjustment and keep on going.  Rigidity is what happens right before something breaks!  But when it comes to our weight loss, healthy eating or working out, we stubbornly adhere to a rigid plan of How It’s Supposed to Be, and when it breaks, we’re surprised, disappointed and think we’ve ‘screwed up royally!’  I will admit that in the beginning of a new lifestyle, routine and predictability are a true benefit. It makes it easier for us to make the adjustment, but we all know it’s going to be short-lived at best and before long, we’re going to be bobbing and weaving as usual.  The trouble is that no one has ever told us that changing our weight loss and work out plans on the fly isn’t failure- it’s adaptability! We all know and accept that sudden changes happen at work and with family, so we need to write that into our weight loss plan too!  How many times do we get stuck working through lunch? Is that going to stop just because we decided to ‘eat healthy?’ Not hardly! So plan for it: when I have to work through lunch, I have X planned! When I have to work late and don’t have time to fix dinner or go to the store, I’ve got X in the freezer. When I can’t make my scheduled workout, I’ve got my gym bag in the car so I can stop in the next day that I do have time. This is how the Weight Loss meets the Real World, and it’s not much different from how we deal with other Real World occurrences. When the ride to soccer practice gets canceled, instead of canceling your plans, you make a shift and do your errands or shopping after you’ve dropped them off and then swing back to pick them up. You probably don’t even think about this as a problem: it’s a normal occurrence! When you have to work through lunch, you probably have a similar shift in your repertoire: either you skip lunch, eat later or have something delivered. So when you start bringing something healthy, you still have the same options either to skip lunch or eat later and if you do opt for delivery, order a salad or veggie wrap or something similar to what you brought.

It seems fairly obvious but our mindset gets in the way and tells us we’ve failed or screwed up because we’re ‘not sticking to our Weight Loss Plan’! That would be that rigid inflexible plan that can’t exist in the Real World. This is inflexibility is why so many weight loss plans are unrealistic- they don’t allow for adjustments. Making healthy high protein breakfast smoothies for breakfast is great until we don’t have time to make them because ‘something comes up,’ as it always does, and if we’re supposed to changing our smoothie ingredients on rigid schedule, we just blew our plan. (My mom gave me one of those smoothies-on-a-schedule diet books!) I know my schedule: I didn’t even try it! Too inflexible and too complicated!

Staying flexible with our healthy eating, weight loss and activity plans lets us continue to make progress. We have to approach our weight loss goals with the same mindset we have towards everything else in our lives. If we didn’t make adjustments in our jobs and families, would we still have jobs and families? Would we throw up our hands and say “I just blew it with the kids! Guess I have to give them away!” Or quit our jobs when we missed a deadline or didn’t hit it out of the park on a project? That’s extreme overreacting and no one would seriously consider giving either of those actions. But that’s exactly what we do when we’re talking about weight loss. Allowing ourselves to adjust not only keeps us on that bumpy road to better health, it gives us a fighting chance to reach our goals, so bob, weave, and hang on!