Some of you might know that I commute for my job and on a good day, it’s only about an hour and a half each way. Most of the time, it’s two and on some really bad days, it’s been three or four. Usually when I tell people I drive over an hour to work, they groan, make a face or generally comment about how awful that is. Well….. it can be, but how awful my commute is or isn’t generally depends on me!
Like any journey, there are things which are out of our control. I can’t do anything about the jack-knifed semi and four miles of backed up traffic ahead of me except react to it, but my reaction is completely within my control. I can moan and stress and pull my hair out, or I can call my boss via Bluetooth, tell him I’m stuck behind an accident in Stockton (it’s always Stockton!) and then go back to listening to my book, podcast or playlist.
Occasionally, I run into people who can’t believe I have been commuting like this since 2008 and that I am so laid-back about it. Believe me, it hasn’t always been this way! For a few years, my commute was the most stressful part of my day, particularly my drive into the office! But over time, I have learned a few things about commuting and– weirdly enough– learning how to handle my commute has taught me a whole lot about weight loss!
The most obvious fact is the hardest one to accept: it’s going to take as long as it takes. Driving 75 miles is going to take some time and traffic can make it worse. It’s the same when you have to lose weight: you didn’t put it on overnight and it’s going to take some time coming back off. Yes, it’d be great if it only took a few days or a couple of weeks, and while we’re wishing, I’d like to get to the office in 15 minutes, but we all know that isn’t going to happen! Like I said accepting that your weight loss is going to take as long as it takes is hard to accept, especially if you have some kind of deadline like a wedding or a vacation. The first thing I learned about commuting and weight loss is that trying to “hurry it along” only makes it harder! We’ve all tried ‘miracle fasts’ and ‘crash diets’ and ‘weight loss pills.’ Did they work? Of course not! But they did make us hope a lot and when they fell through, we were discouraged and sometimes a little sick from trying them. They usually make it harder because we have to skip our regular meals and take the pills/ supplements/ shakes/ etc instead. Now we’re hungry and discouraged: it feels like we’ve been jumping through all the right hoops but nothing is happening!
That could be because we’ve been stressing ourselves out over trying to rush this weight loss. It could be because we’ve been trying to starve ourselves into losing weight, and yes, there is a difference between Fasting and a Starvation Diet! (see Jason Fung for that info!) Whatever the reason is, trying to rush your weight loss usually doesn’t work any better than my trying to rush my commute! It just increases my stress and my chances of getting into an accident; trying to rush your weight loss also increases your stress and chances of failure.
Another hard to accept fact is that there are situations that are out of our control. Remember that jack-knifed semi and four miles of backed up traffic? That was a real accident, and it added another hour to my commute. (Thankfully, my boss is pretty flexible about my time.) I learned the hard way that I can stress and fret and get angry about a delay that I can’t control but it doesn’t move the traffic any faster. However, it does get my blood pressure and stress level up! I can get pretty bent out of shape but all it gets me is bent out of shape!
It isn’t much different when it comes to weight loss. We’ve all arrived at the conference or buffet where all the food available is food that isn’t on our eating plan! Everything is full of carbs, fats or sugar and here we are getting angry or stressed or panicking because “there’s nothing here I can eat!” Instead of getting angry and frustrated, we just have to make the best of the situation we are in. I can practically hear everyone rolling their eyes, but other than hopping on your phone and having Grubhub bring you a salad, what else can you do? Well, I suppose you can sulk and complain to everyone about how unhealthy all the food is, but it’s still not going to get you anything to eat! This is one of those times where you have to make the best of a bad situation. Take a look at what is offered: can you choose a sandwich and leave the bread on your plate? If there are vegetables with the pasta entree, maybe you can just have vegetables? Can you discreetly ask a server for extra veggies or veggies that haven’t been mixed into the pasta? How about eating the quiche without the crust? Or if you can, maybe just skip the food, settle for coffee and get something on your own later? If commuting has taught me anything at all it’s that throwing a tantrum is a complete and utterly fruitless waste of energy!
Commuting has also taught me to take what many consider a hardship and turn it into an opportunity. Remember those books, podcasts and playlists I mentioned above? They actually make me look forward to getting in the car and driving for an hour! I can’t do much other than listen while I am driving, so they keep me informed and entertained while I am on my way to work. That long commute actually makes it easier to listen to them since I am not constantly interrupted by the pets or other people while I am running errands. Most people think of being stuck in a car as a hardship but for me, being in the car has become a real opportunity to learn new information.
When we find ourselves stuck in the break room or at a party surrounded by temptation, this is our opportunity to practice saying no, or practice that self-control we keep complaining we don’t have! It’s easy to say no to brownies when there aren’t any around. Telling ourselves we aren’t going to eat ice cream is easy when we’d have to go out to the store to buy it first! But when the food that tempts us is right in front of us, this is our opportunity to learn how to say no and mean it! It can also teach us that what we used to think of as yummy really isn’t as yummy as we thought. How many times have we given in to potato chips, chocolate or sugar and regretted it afterwards? (Raising my hand here!) We ‘indulged’ and learned that our indulgence was completely not worth the indulging. That obstacle just became a teaching tool and the next time we are faced with what used to be so tempting isn’t as tempting anymore!
Sooner or later, we all come up against situations we can’t control. All we can do is choose how we are going to react to them. We can choose to get angry or stressed or we can choose to make the best of what we’ve been given. It’s not always easy to find the opportunity in what looks like a mountain of obstacles, but you know, I bet there’s an awesome view from the top of that mountain!