There’s No Competition! Weight Loss & Focusing on YOU (Not Everyone Else!)

We all know the popular platitudes: “keep your eyes on your own work,” “keep your eyes on the prize,” “stay in your own lane,” etc.  We’re fond of throwing them out whenever we hear other people discussing how much better someone else is doing with weight loss or healthy eating.  We’re quick to remind others about ‘staying in their own lane’ but when it comes to ourselves, that advice goes right out the window!

We don’t mean to be hypocritical: it’s just that humans tend to be competitive and most of us are in a hurry to lose as much weight as fast as we can, so when when we hear that someone else is having great success, we want to do what they’re doing! It’s natural: we want to be a success too! Competition aside, if a friend or coworker is doing something that works, then why shouldn’t we try it?  Makes sense, right?

Well, maybe. One of the reasons we use those platitudes like ‘stay in your own lane’ is because what works for someone else may not work for us. Weight loss and eating healthier is all dependent on our own personal health issues and our goals.  If your goal is weight loss, then following your friend’s diet may not be the right thing for you if her goal is eating healthier.  She may be losing a lot of weight fast simply because what she ate before she changed her diet was a lot of processed junk food.  Her new healthier diet might be full of nutritious whole foods which aren’t exactly low cal or conducive to weight loss.  Example: when I started my own weight loss journey, my goals were: #1) eat healthier; and #2) weight loss. The first thing I did was stop eating fast food and I lost about 40 lbs simply by cutting out the drive-thru. Then I stopped eating pasta and quick carbs like bread and white potatoes. I replaced a lot of that with nuts, (mainly macadamias and cashews) and sweet potatoes. All of those things are healthier foods than bread, cookies, pasta and potatoes, but they aren’t exactly ‘low calorie.’ I also replaced margarine with butter and left cheese in my diet, which are also not ‘low calorie.’  They are healthier than processed fake butter and processed ‘cheese food,’ but if weight loss and only weight loss is your goal, they aren’t really on a lot of ‘diet plans.’

So when I started this whole ‘eating healthier’ process, one of my goals was to lose weight but I also wanted to be healthier overall.  In short, I wanted to lose weight eating healthy whole foods instead of eating highly processed ‘diet foods.’ I also planned (and still plan) to eat this way for the rest of my life, so while I lost a lot of weight quickly, fast weight loss wasn’t and isn’t my priority.  (It was just an awesome reward for no longer living at the drive-thru!) However, when my family and friends saw I had dropped forty-plus pounds in a few weeks, they all wanted to know how I was doing it. They pretty much accepted the “No Fast Food Rule” as the no-brainer it is, but no potatoes? no bread? no pasta or rice or beans or corn? They were not on-board with those rules, even though I feel a whole lot healthier not eating those foods. And that’s the way it should be! I made changes based on my health and my goals which aren’t the same as theirs!

I have a friend who is always rolling her eyes at the ‘gluten-free’ craze: “now everything is gluten-free!” Believe me, if you are sensitive to gluten or have celiac disease, then yes! that’s a great thing! But for those of us who aren’t, is there any advantage to cutting out gluten? The general consensus seems to be ‘not really and especially not for your wallet!’ But being ‘gluten-free’ is popular now simply because there’s been a lot of media attention about it. People who have never been sensitive to gluten are swearing that they feel so much better now that they’re gluten-free while health professionals are suggesting it wasn’t the gluten in their diet that was causing the problems: it was the grains associated with gluten. In short, one of the reasons I feel much better not eating anything made with grains is because grains trigger inflammation, which irritates my osteoarthritis, so no grains, no inflammation, no arthritis pain! The reason my friend rolls her eyes is that buying gluten-free bread, cookies and pizza crust is more expensive than just leaving those foods out of your diet, so these people are paying more to eat what is essentially junk food.

We also need to keep our focus on our goals so we can do what’s best for us individually. Last week I attended a birthday luncheon for some friends at a local restaurant and one of the guests had recently started eating low carb, so it gave us a chance to compare low carb menus. He is eating low carb to keep his blood sugar under control and I am eating not so much low carb as whole food/ Paleo for weight loss.  Part of our discussion included nut butters: peanut butter, almond butter, ‘natural’ butters v the shelf stable varieties.  Peanuts aren’t a normal part of my diet: I like them and they’ve never made me sick, but at the same time, they don’t add a lot to my diet or health, so I choose not to eat them.  Peanuts are technically a legume (a bean) and I tend to avoid them overall.  Almonds are a ‘genuine nut’ but since I don’t like them very much, they are also not a big part of my diet.  My friend however isn’t eating Paleo like I am so flavored almonds, peanuts and peanut butters are part of his diet. His question centered around finding a shelf stable peanut butter he can take with him when he travels that isn’t full of sugar. He is also a fan of low carb tortillas and I avoid tortillas of all kinds, so my recommendation of a coconut wrap was an unnecessary inconvenient expense for him while his low carb tortilla would likely aggravate my arthritis. So, while it looks like we might be pursuing the same goals, we really aren’t: his eating habits wouldn’t be beneficial for me and mine would be overly complicated for him!

Not competing with others and keeping your eyes focused on your goals is also important because if you keep bouncing from one ‘sure-fire gonna work’ plan to another, you’ll never be consistent long enough to figure out what really works for you. If you want to make progress and improve your health, that means finding what works for you and staying with it, in your own lane, so to speak! I used to get a lot of questions about dairy and Paleo, since labels are another thing people like to throw around. There are Paleo advocates who insist ‘dairy isn’t Paleo,’ but as for me, since I’m not lactose intolerant either, I keep a little dairy in my diet. I do know that too much dairy does trigger a little sensitivity so I try to keep it to a minimum but that’s not because ‘dairy isn’t Paleo’: it’s because too much dairy doesn’t agree with me!

So whatever healthy eating or weight loss plan you are following, the only thing you need to focus on is whether it’s working for you or not. If your friend or neighbor is losing pounds really fast, give him a big congratulations and keep your eyes on your own work. If what you are doing isn’t working for you, then maybe it’s time to ask some questions, and the first question needs to be “what are your goals?” not “what are you doing?”

 

 

It Really is All About You! Weight Loss & Doing It Yourself- or Not

I think I do a lot of posts about being independent. Like just about everything important in life, it’s a double-edged sword. Being independent means you make your own decisions but it can also mean you have to do things without a whole lot of help or even support.  There’s a price to be paid for anything of value and admittedly, there are a lot of days I wish I had more help and maybe not so much independence!

Unfortunately, we really can’t have it both ways. You can only rely on others for a limited amount of things without sacrificing a big chunk of your independence.  For example, if you are going to rely on someone else to do the majority of the grocery shopping, then you can’t complain too much when they come home with something you don’t want when the store was out of the product you chose. For me, the example that springs to mind is bagged salad greens.  I hate iceberg lettuce, and the popular mixes that come with shredded cabbages, carrot shavings and tons of iceberg are NOT on my list! The same goes for the Spring mix blend full of baby lettuces and radicchio.  My list of salad greens NOT welcome in my house includes: iceberg, radicchio, arugula and if I can avoid carrot shavings, bonus for me! Cabbage of any color is great; so are spinach, butter lettuces, endive, romaine or practically any other lettuce!

So if someone else is doing my grocery shopping and comes home with the wrong blend of salad for me, it’s my loss.  I can choose to eat the salad or not, but yelling at them for getting me the wrong kind of lettuce would be unfair. (It’s not like I have an allergy to radicchio or arugula!) If I don’t like the way they do the shopping, I can do it myself! But by relying on someone else to do something like this for you, you are tacitly agreeing not to scold them too harshly if they get the wrong items. When you rely on someone else to help you out or take over a regular chore that you normally do, you are giving up some of that independence in exchange for convenience.  It’s the price of asking for help, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. We all need help occasionally and usually I get scolded by family and friends for making things harder on myself than they need to be because, frankly, it usually doesn’t occur to me to ask for help!

The most recent example is when my car died on the freeway, and after spending the morning getting it towed, I had to arrange for a rental while it was at the shop, and circumstances conspired to make that way more difficult than normal. So since my options were limited, I called a cab, which took over an hour to arrive and the driver, despite having a Garmin, didn’t know how to get to the rental car place. (What can I say? I was having a day!) When I was talking to my friends and my family later on about the whole “car situation,” most of them who either work from home or are retired asked me the same question: “Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve given you a ride!”  My well-thought out and eloquent response? “Duhhhhhh…..”

It had honestly not occurred to me that at least three of my friends in the area would have been able to run me down to get a rental in much less than time than waiting on a cab or an unreliable Uber/Lyft driver. I’m not being stubborn about ‘being self-reliant.’  I think it’s because I am so used to handling things on my own that the idea of calling a friend doesn’t even show up on my list of options.  While not being completely reliant on others has its benefits, this Doing It Myself mentality that I have really just limits my options and makes some things much harder than they need to be, as in the “car situation.”  Yes, it’s great that I can figure stuff out on my own and not have to call family constantly to help me out, but at the same time, I am isolating myself, not to mention stressing myself.  I am sacrificing ease and convenience for independence.  This situation isn’t any better than sacrificing independence for ease and convenience!

Most of us are far more familiar with those who are always completely dependent on others, either out of laziness or learned helplessness.  We learn to avoid these people pretty fast: they are the ones who always need you to run by their pharmacy/ other errands because they’re feeling too sick or are in too much pain or just can’t do it on their own; they are the ones who can’t find the address or phone number for anyone or anything because “the website/ google is confusing”; or they can’t change the batteries in the tv remote.  We all know people like this: they are utterly helpless and it’s a learned helplessness.  They’ve learned that they don’t need to do it on their own because if they are pathetic enough, someone will do it for them!  Why do they need to worry about it?

Obviously, there are many issues that come with this kind of learned helplessness/ laziness, including and especially abdicating responsibility.  If you are completely dependent on someone else to do your grocery shopping, then it’s not your fault if you only have junk food in the house! You didn’t buy it- they did! It makes it easy for nothing to be your fault or your responsibility since you are completely dependent on other people to ‘help you out.’ This is the opposite problem that I have (Doing It Myself mentality), but it’s still easy to fall victim to the same problem of abdicating responsibility. In my case, it’s because “I have too much to do and no one to help me!”

It really doesn’t matter if you are totally on your own or if you are totally dependent on others: sooner or later, you have to be the one to take action! It really is all about you and the decisions you make regarding your health and your lifestyle. We all hear comments about how we don’t have time to exercise because we are so busy or we can’t eat healthy because the family doesn’t like healthy food or that we get stuck eating junk food during the day because that’s what’s available at work. We make it easy to escape our responsibilities regarding our choices, either by blaming being busy or someone else’s failings.  If we don’t want to go to the gym because we don’t feel like it, then we need to own that decision. If it turns out that we were at the gym only three times (or less) in the last month, whose choice was it not to go? Do we get ‘workout credits’ with our bodies if we were really too busy or the trainer canceled?  Of course not! Busy, no trainer or just blowing it off, the result is the same: we didn’t exercise!

I’ve noticed that the things that are really important to people tend to be the things that don’t get left out of the schedule. Our favorite junk food keeps showing up at our house.  We manage to watch our favorite shows even though we are too busy to go to the gym or do the grocery shopping.  We manage to make our mani/ pedi appointments even if we cancel with our trainers.  It’s called priorities, and since those things are important to us, we make time for them!  The healthy eating, the workouts, going to bed on time, drinking more water instead of soda: all those fall to the wayside because they are not our priorities.  We can tell when they are important to us, because we will reschedule our workout, go to the grocery store instead of the nail salon or blow off a Friday night out to get some sleep! Our healthy is mostly the sum of our choices and if our health is pretty cruddy, whose choice was that?

Ultimately, those people who are either completely dependent on others or people like me who are way too busy doing it all myself have a few decisions to make.  We may have to learn to be more independent or to ask for help or even– gasp!— give up some other things on our schedules.  Yes, there will be times when we really are so busy it feels like we’re chasing our own tails, and yes, there will be times when the Uber driver gets lost and you miss your appointment.  There will be times when you show up at the luncheon and it’s full of the foods you’re trying to avoid.  Some things are just beyond our control no matter what we are prioritizing and we just have to accept that it really isn’t our fault. But we also need to take responsibility for the things we can control and the decisions we choose to make. Sometimes that means we have to ask for help and sometimes we have to do it ourselves since this is our life and our health and our responsibility.

Hang On- It’s Going to Get Bumpy! Weight Loss, Chaos & Staying Motivated

It would be nice if weight loss were smooth and linear, and while I’m wishing for the impossible, how about a million bucks, too?  We all know it’s easier to lose weight when nothing crazy is going on at work and you can eat the healthy lunch you brought without phones going off and people popping into your office asking “where are you on the Saunders project?”  It’s the same thing at home: when it’s calm, it’s easier, but usually the boys’ ride to soccer practice has to reschedule, the dog loses the fight with the neighbor’s cat and your spouse’s trip to Boston gets bumped up a couple of days to today.  Yay, chaos- also known as the Real World! This is pretty much how it is for most of us at home and at work.

It’s so so tempting to tell yourself “I’ll lose weight when it’s less stressful!” So…. let’s put it on our calendar for the second Tuesday from Never? Because that’s when it’s going to be ‘less stressful.’ There will always be fussy, high-maintenance clients, bosses and coworkers who hijack your time, and fly balls coming out of left field to disrupt your carefully orchestrated schedule.  And that’s just at work: when you have a family, especially with kids, you’ve pretty much joined the circus with every day being opening night until they move out.  Yup: the Real World is pure chaos!

I’m not telling you this so you get discouraged: I’m telling you this because most of us like order and schedules and plans.  We plan our healthy meals; we schedule our workouts and we make grocery lists full of nutritious whole foods.  Sounds lovely! We’ll be losing weight so fast…. until our meticulous plans meet our actual lives and suddenly, we’re doing the Seat of Our Pants Weight Loss Plan.  Instead of sauteed broccoli with meatballs and marinara, we’re suddenly doing frozen bunless burgers with bag salad.  Instead of the turkey lettuce wrap for lunch, we’re having hardboiled eggs with carrot sticks.  Instead of our water aerobics class on Wednesday, we’re doing laps in the pool on Thursday night.  It feels like we’re running to catch up and, even worse, it feels like we’re failing at weight loss.

Not true!In Real Life most of us pride ourselves on being flexible when it comes to work and family life.  That’s pretty much the way life works- things happen, we make an adjustment and keep on going.  Rigidity is what happens right before something breaks!  But when it comes to our weight loss, healthy eating or working out, we stubbornly adhere to a rigid plan of How It’s Supposed to Be, and when it breaks, we’re surprised, disappointed and think we’ve ‘screwed up royally!’  I will admit that in the beginning of a new lifestyle, routine and predictability are a true benefit. It makes it easier for us to make the adjustment, but we all know it’s going to be short-lived at best and before long, we’re going to be bobbing and weaving as usual.  The trouble is that no one has ever told us that changing our weight loss and work out plans on the fly isn’t failure- it’s adaptability! We all know and accept that sudden changes happen at work and with family, so we need to write that into our weight loss plan too!  How many times do we get stuck working through lunch? Is that going to stop just because we decided to ‘eat healthy?’ Not hardly! So plan for it: when I have to work through lunch, I have X planned! When I have to work late and don’t have time to fix dinner or go to the store, I’ve got X in the freezer. When I can’t make my scheduled workout, I’ve got my gym bag in the car so I can stop in the next day that I do have time. This is how the Weight Loss meets the Real World, and it’s not much different from how we deal with other Real World occurrences. When the ride to soccer practice gets canceled, instead of canceling your plans, you make a shift and do your errands or shopping after you’ve dropped them off and then swing back to pick them up. You probably don’t even think about this as a problem: it’s a normal occurrence! When you have to work through lunch, you probably have a similar shift in your repertoire: either you skip lunch, eat later or have something delivered. So when you start bringing something healthy, you still have the same options either to skip lunch or eat later and if you do opt for delivery, order a salad or veggie wrap or something similar to what you brought.

It seems fairly obvious but our mindset gets in the way and tells us we’ve failed or screwed up because we’re ‘not sticking to our Weight Loss Plan’! That would be that rigid inflexible plan that can’t exist in the Real World. This is inflexibility is why so many weight loss plans are unrealistic- they don’t allow for adjustments. Making healthy high protein breakfast smoothies for breakfast is great until we don’t have time to make them because ‘something comes up,’ as it always does, and if we’re supposed to changing our smoothie ingredients on rigid schedule, we just blew our plan. (My mom gave me one of those smoothies-on-a-schedule diet books!) I know my schedule: I didn’t even try it! Too inflexible and too complicated!

Staying flexible with our healthy eating, weight loss and activity plans lets us continue to make progress. We have to approach our weight loss goals with the same mindset we have towards everything else in our lives. If we didn’t make adjustments in our jobs and families, would we still have jobs and families? Would we throw up our hands and say “I just blew it with the kids! Guess I have to give them away!” Or quit our jobs when we missed a deadline or didn’t hit it out of the park on a project? That’s extreme overreacting and no one would seriously consider giving either of those actions. But that’s exactly what we do when we’re talking about weight loss. Allowing ourselves to adjust not only keeps us on that bumpy road to better health, it gives us a fighting chance to reach our goals, so bob, weave, and hang on!

Yay, Whole Foods!: Supplements, Nutrition & Weight Loss

I’m a huge fan of whole foods and I don’t mean the supermarket chain.  (I’m not knocking them; I’ve shopped there before but there isn’t one in my town.) I’m talking about the real as-close-to-right-out-of-the-ground whole foods. Apparently, they are one of the hot trends right now in the food and nutrition arena. One of the other hot trends is biohacking.  Biohacking is a loose term for finding ways to get what you want from your body (or from something else organic) by using some kind of quick trick or other means.  One of the most well known biohackers is Dave Asprey, ‘inventor’ of Bulletproof coffee.  Essentially, Bulletproof coffee is a high energy drink you make yourself that keeps you full and can keep you in ketosis if that’s your thing.  (Ketosis can also be called another biohack by some people.) While I found a lot of descriptions and examples of biohacking, I didn’t really find anything that defines it.  The best example for me is what I used to do when I couldn’t get to sleep at night: I used a placebo of sorts. I’d take a couple of plain ibuprophen.  (Not the PM version because it didn’t exist then!) Generally, within twenty minutes of taking the generic Advil, even if I wasn’t in pain, I’d start to get sleepy and be out before I knew it.  It worked every time.

One of the drawbacks to biohacking is that sometimes people try it with nutrition, which usually comes out to taking handfuls of supplements, smoothies or protein shakes.  I have heard Dave Asprey on podcasts talking about taking about 20 or more supplements and while I don’t want to malign supplements or those that use them (I take a few myself!), I do want to point out that just because you take 2000 mg of Calcium every day, that doesn’t mean you have all your Calcium needs covered.  One important issue that gets marginalized– with both supplements and whole foods– is the subject of bioavailability.   Bioavailability is pretty much just what it sounds like: the nutrients in the supplement or food either is or isn’t available to be absorbed by your body.  This is important because if you’re eating bushels of spinach thinking you’re getting your iron RDA (Recommended Dietary Allowance), then you’re sadly mistaken. While the nutritional information label on that bag of spinach may say it’s loaded with iron, it’s not in a form your body can absorb!

Example: being a bit of a geek-groupie, I watch The Big Bang Theory and in one episode Penny was out shopping with Sheldon, who in typical Sheldon fashion, criticized her choices of vitamins and supplements.  He told her (paraphrasing here) that he could help her get her vitamins and minerals because what she had in her hands was “a recipe for expensive pee.” We think we’re getting enough vitamins and minerals and all that good nutritional stuff because we’re popping those supplements daily, but the fact of the matter is while we may be swallowing the pills, they may not be staying in our bodies!  Some nutrients need ‘helpers’ to be absorbed and others may just be plain unavailable! This is what Sheldon meant when he told Penny she was making ‘expensive pee.’ We can take all the supplements and protein shakes in the world and if the nutrients aren’t available, they just pass right through our bodies and do nothing for us but drain our wallets.

Supplement manufacturers usually take a big hit on this topic because while a protein powder label may say it had 25 mg of protein per scoop, what’s actually available to be absorbed is maybe half of that.  We need to check labels for the amount that’s bioavailable.  The protein is there: we just can’t use it. The same is true for supplements: just because it’s there on the label doesn’t mean we actually get the benefit.  Unfortunately people tend to think that whole foods have ‘solved’ this problem which isn’t the case, although they do have a slight advantage. Many whole foods- like spinach- have lots of nutrients, minerals and vitamins, but plants have defenses too, and a lot of their defenses rely on keeping their nutrition unavailable to those who eat them.  For example, while spinach, broccoli and other dark leafy greens have calcium, they also have oxalic acid which binds to the calcium so we can’t absorb it. So while we may eat  five cups of broccoli, we may only end up getting less than half the calcium we think we got.

The advantage to choosing to rely more on whole foods than supplements comes from tradition, in my opinion.  We tend to prepare a lot of foods in ways to make them more bioavailable.  Take creamed spinach: that oxalic acid doesn’t care if it binds to the calcium in the spinach or the calcium in the cream, so we’re getting more calcium in that creamed spinach than if we ate plain spinach.  There’s a similar benefit to eating the traditional beans & rice that come in many cultures: legumes and rice both contain incomplete proteins so if we ate them alone, we wouldn’t get any protein benefit, but by eating them together, we get the proteins.

Whole foods also have a slight advantage because of the ‘whole package’ deal.  For some foods, like white potatoes, there are a lot of vitamins in the skins but once those foods get processed (say into potato flakes), the skins are discarded and we don’t get those vitamins.  We’ve heard a lot of similar stories about other fruits and veggies: eat the whole fruit/ veg rather than just part of it (apple sauce or veggie juice). This also why people advocate eating the whole egg instead of just the whites where the protein is concentrated: the yolk has beneficial nutrition such as vitamins and omega-3 fatty acids.

There are a lot of diets that rely on nutrition bars and protein shakes to promote weight loss, but again bioavailability bites you in the butt! There might be 100% of all your RDA on those labels but how much remains in your body? How many times does someone you know who relies on those bars and shakes complain of being tired or not feeling great? Yes, they’re losing weight but is feeling cruddy a great trade off? Are they hungry a lot? I know I was when I was on those diets- tired and feeling really blah. Not the benefit I wanted with my weight loss!

I am not saying you should throw out your bottles of vitamins and supplements. I’ve got quite a collection of those myself but I don’t depend on those bottles to make sure I get all my vitamins and minerals. Remember the word ‘Supplement’ means to ‘add to’ something else. I try to get most of my vitamins, minerals and nutrition from whole natural foods and then use vitamins and supplements to make up any differences that might be lacking.  I’m sure my diet has some holes in it. No one’s is perfect, I’m sure! The point is that I feel better eating mostly whole foods and- not to brag- but a lot of people have been asking me what I use on my skin because it looks so much better.  Umm, nothing? No lotion, no cream- just soap and water! Unless broccoli, eggs, fish and butter lettuce count!

 

 

The WTH?!? Diet: Weight Loss & Listening to Your Body

I recently saw an ad on my local PBS station for a program about “what should I eat?” featuring a famous weight loss/ nutritionist doctor.  As much as I respect this doctor, I’m pretty sure this is a knee-jerk reaction to all the ‘healthy diet options’ spreading like wildfire all over the media.  Everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with ads for the ‘true weight loss diet’ and the ‘healthiest diet’ for athletes, people who want to lose weight and everyone else under the sun. And now, we’re getting slammed with the ‘DNA diet’ ads: “get your DNA tested and find out what diet works for you!”

I guess diets can’t get much more personalized than by testing your DNA, but at the same time, I wonder about the accuracy of those tests. I recently had mine tested (not for a diet plan but it was included in the package) and I was extremely unimpressed by the results.  According to the alleged experts, I should have lost weight (extremely slowly FYI) by eating a carb-heavy, low-fat, low-protein diet and while I apparently don’t drink as much coffee as the average person, “more coffee consumption might help [me] lose weight.”  Since the carb-heavy, low-fat, low-protein diet is what caused me to gain about 150 lbs through my 30’s & 40’s, I pretty much concluded their ‘analysis’ is garbage, especially since they concluded that based on a couple of genes, I’m supposedly not sensitive to refined carbs.  I cannot tell you how easily I am affected by a refined carb! If I have a normal sized piece of cake in the evening, I’m up all night in the bathroom, get nasty leg and foot cramps all night,  feel my blood sugar spike in the early morning, wake up with a ‘hangover headache’ and am absolutely starving within minutes of waking. These things only happen with refined carbs and/ or sugar! But according to the ‘expert analysis,’ I’m not ‘sensitive’ to refined carbs. Yeaahhhhh, riiight….

This is what’s missing with today’s diet-mania: we’re so busy listening to what the ‘experts’ are telling us to do that we aren’t listening to what our bodies are telling us about the food we’re eating! I listened to all the ‘experts’ back in the ’80’s & ’90’s who were pushing the heart-healthy whole grains and low fat diets.  I followed them as closely as I could, ate lots of whole grains, whole wheat and cut out all the fats that I could, and I slowly and steadily gained weight! I was seriously confused because I obviously wasn’t doing the diet right since I kept gaining weight! WTH?!? By the time I topped 400 lbs, I had pretty much given up.  Obviously there was something really wrong with how I was eating but I didn’t know what and all the ‘experts’ kept giving me the same information: low fat, lots of whole grains!

Most of you know that now I follow a Paleo diet and it’s not that I’m pushing my way of eating on anyone, but the fact is the basic Paleo philosophy works for me.  I eat as much whole unprocessed food as I can and more vegetables than meat.  I limit my grains, my legumes, my sugar and my dairy consumption.  While that’s part of most generic “Paleo diets,” I find I feel better and lose more weight without the grains, sugar and legumes in my diet, and while the DNA analysis didn’t mention anything about lactose intolerance, I noticed shortly before I ‘went Paleo’ that I felt really really cruddy after eating yogurt or having any dairy.  After giving it up entirely for a few months, I realized I could have a limited amount without feeling cruddy, but I still feel better keeping it to a minimum (cream in the coffee, a little cheese and yogurt on occasion).

The most important thing I learned from eating Paleo isn’t that “grains are bad for everyone!” or that “cavemen didn’t eat beans!” It’s that we need to listen to our bodies when it comes to what we’re eating! Most athletes are used to listening to their bodies when it comes to activities like running, swimming or whatever their specialty is.  If they normally run a marathon but their hamstrings start feeling it around mile 20, they stop! Their body is telling them something’s not right and to keep running is going to hurt them and they listen to it!

That’s what I didn’t do in my ’30’s when I was gaining weight on the low-fat high-carb diet.  My body was telling me “this isn’t good for us!” and I didn’t listen, until I had gained 400 lbs — major damage! Even though I knew something was wrong, I just assumed I wasn’t doing the diet correctly or that I wasn’t getting enough exercise or I was just eating too much (the last two were definitely true!) but it honestly never occurred to me that the food I was eating was also causing damage to my body.  “I’m not sensitive to gluten. I eat muffins all the time and never get sick!” Between the sugar and the carbs in the muffins I was eating, I was really screwing up my blood sugar! All the starches int those ‘healthy whole grains’ were killing me, slowly and painfully! But it was like I kept limping along in the marathon since ‘my feet don’t hurt- just my hamstrings.’ My body never got the chance to level out my blood sugar or burn fat because I was eating about every two-three hours (“it boosts your metabolism!”– not mine!) and I was eating more ‘healthy whole grains’ aka starches!

Once I stopped eating the processed foods, the starches, sugars and other ‘non-Paleo’ foods, what I found out was that my metabolism and my body really liked eating more leafy green vegetables (spinach, lettuce), more cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, Brussels sprouts) and more unprocessed foods in general. I basically went to as blank a food slate as I could and I realized I could tell the difference after eating bread and a day without eating bread. It was like I suddenly heard what my body had been trying to tell me all along: pasta ain’t good for us, honey, no matter how much whole grain it’s got in it! Once I began listening to my body, it made eating a whole lot easier. It doesn’t matter if I call it a Paleo diet, a keto diet or a Whole 30 diet: the name doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I feel good after I eat, I don’t feel like crap the next day, my body is healthier with what I’m eating and I’m also losing weight (bonus!)

The problem is that most people like having a food list or some kind of concrete food plan when it comes to dieting or eating healthier.  This is why so many of those packaged weight loss programs are so popular: you don’t have to make any decisions other than “do I want pizza or beef stew for lunch?” To be frank, for a lot of people making their own food decisions is walking the tightrope without a net. What happens if I make a mistake?  In this situation, mistakes are not a bad thing! For a long time, I couldn’t figure out why I’d have really horrible leg & foot cramps in the middle of the night so I started writing them down in my food journal when I got up in the morning, and after looking back a few weeks, I realized they always happened after I had something sugary/ starchy for dinner the night before! Hello!! No sugar/ starch with dinner= no nasty foot cramps! Problem solved!

Unfortunately the words “Food Journal” are right up there with “Root Canal” for a lot of people: “You mean I gotta write down everything I eat??” Yes, because that’s how we learn things! You are actually making your own diet as you go along. How do you know what works for you and what doesn’t if you don’t keep track of what you eat? It’s often said that you can’t evaluate what you don’t monitor, and we acknowledge that in other aspects of our lives.  When we look at our credit card bill, it comes with a summary of charges so we know who made what charge where and when and if there’s something on there that we don’t recognize, we call the company to let them know that’s not us! But we don’t look at it, if we just pay the bill and think “I must’ve really been busy with that card!” we’ll never know someone stole our account number and has been spending our money. We monitor our electrical usage (it goes up in summer!), our water bill (also up in summer!) and how much gas we’re putting in the car, but when it comes to keeping track of what we’re eating, ….. umm, fish and chips yesterday and I think it spaghetti the night before… I don’t remember breakfast… Then when we get nasty heartburn or feel like our body’s full of lead, we don’t have any frame of reference for why, so we go on eating the same foods and wondering why we sometimes feel cruddy. [FYI: isn’t this the Not Working For Me diet that made us overweight?]

‘Making your own diet’ only works when you keep track of what you’re eating and how you feel afterwards, but it doesn’t have to be an in-depth intensive account.  For me, I log it in an app and when I get home, I write it in my paper journal along with any notes about how I felt: super hungry at 3:00 p.m.; really tired or stressed all day; nasty leg cramps during the night, etc. I used to weigh and measure everything mainly so I’d have an idea of what five ounces of meat or a cup of spinach looked like. Now that I’ve got a good idea, I only weigh & measure if I want to double-check. It seriously takes me about five minutes to write down everything I ate and drank during the day.  It just needs to be enough to give me a frame of reference if I start feeling good, bad, or stop losing weight or worse start gaining. Keeping track is also how I learned that a little dairy is okay, starches are seriously not okay and a few legumes won’t hurt me. Is this a Paleo diet? I don’t know and I don’t care, because it’s my diet and it works for me but it only works when I pay attention. So what did you eat today?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DIY Weight Loss: No One Else Can Do It For You

You would think that’s pretty obvious: you can’t hire someone to lose your weight for you. In our society, however, we hire out as much of the hard parts of everything we can, and unfortunately, it’s those hard parts in weight loss that matter the most.

When it comes to weight loss, most of us look for three things when we choose a weight loss plan: 1) it works; 2) it’s easy; and 3) it’s fast. Sounds like great criteria, right? And really, it is. No one wants to waste time with a plan that doesn’t work, is more complicated than it should be and takes a long time to deliver results, or worse, delivers failure.

Our approach to choosing a weight loss plan isn’t much different than choosing a plan for a cell phone or Netflix. We talk to our friends: what do they have and what is working for them? There’s nothing wrong with information gathering; we aren’t asking our friends to lose our weight for us since they obviously can’t. The problem mainly comes when we sign up for one of the popular diets or weight loss plans.

These plans fit the criteria above: they’re fast, they’re easy and they seem to work. Check that again: they seem to work. What makes them easy and fast is that it’s all laid out: most of the food is already prepared, the meals are set up for you and all you have to do is heat and eat. All the hard work is done for you: you just make your choice from your stash of diet food. That’s what makes it easy and it works as long as you stick with the plan and most of these plans work pretty quick, because everything you’re eating is controlled.

So what’s the problem? Isn’t that what we want: fast, easy & practically guaranteed? Yes, it’s what we want but the problem is we aren’t doing it for ourselves. We hired out all those hard parts and those are the parts that matter. We aren’t actually making our own food choices: we’ve hired someone to do it for us. We’re not deciding how much we eat or even what we’re eating- we’ve let someone else make those decisions for us. And when it comes to sustainable weight loss, those are the important decisions that matter.

The problem with those popular diet plans is that they don’t teach us anything about how to eat healthy and how to make good food choices. That’s why the results aren’t permanent: once we stop eating their pre-packaged prepared food, we usually go back to eating what we ate before, usually something high-calorie, highly processed and not healthy for us. Obviously we aren’t trying to undo the success we had with our weight loss plan but once we’ve stopped eating their food, there doesn’t seem to be much difference between a bag of diet cheese puffs and a bag of ‘reduced calorie’ cheese puffs.  The same thing with diet frozen lasagna from our diet plan manufacturers and ‘low cal’ frozen lasagna in the grocery store.  What do we learn on the weight loss plan we bought? We learned to eat packages that say “diet” or “low calorie.”

What makes weight loss so hard (and those diet/ weight loss programs so tempting) is that real sustainable weight loss and healthy eating means we actually have to look at what we’re eating, how much we’re eating, and how often we’re eating.  Simply put, it’s a pain in the butt! It means reading labels for nutritional information, ingredients and serving size- literally, the fine print! It means going to the grocery store on a regular basis, buying fresh foods and- ack!!- cooking!  This is pretty much what most of us are trying to avoid and the weight loss plan people know that.  That’s why these “plans” are so popular year after year- you take the food out of the box, heat it and yay- you’ve just made dinner!  But think about it: how much of their business is repeat business? As in “I lost twenty pounds on Nutrisystem/ Jenny Craig/ Weight Watchers last year so I’ll sign up for them again since I gained it all back.”  This is also what we’re trying to avoid!

It really isn’t a choice between cooking or endless dieting, but it does mean that we have to learn how to eat on our own.  There will be some cooking involved but not the complex process most of us dread. There are a lot of healthy meals that can be prepared in thirty minutes and with a small investment in a pressure cooker/ slow cooker, even some of the more complex dishes can be prepared with a minimum of fuss.  Seriously, you put the food in the machine and set the timer. All you need to do is figure out when you want to eat it: half an hour or at the end of the day. (I bought an Express Crock Pot for my dad last Christmas because it does both and he loves it.) My own dinner last night took longer for me to eat it than it did to cook it: lamb chops in the cast iron skillet and fresh asparagus in the microwave steamer. It was about twenty minutes to prepare all told.  If I had gotten rotisserie chicken, it would have been faster. It’s easy, it’s fast and it’s healthy, and nothing came out of a package.  How complicated is that? It’s food that I really like eating and I got to prepare it the way I like it.

We’ve got to do it ourselves when it comes to deciding what and how to eat unless we plan on spending the rest of our lives eating diet food out of boxes and bags.  That means spending a little time on a learning curve. It also means that once we’ve learned what we like to eat, what works for us and how easy it is to prepare, we start picking up speed on that curve. One of the tips that works for a lot of people who aren’t fans of the kitchen is batch cooking.  This is where you prepare food for several meals and either freeze it or save it in the fridge. This can be something as generic as meatloaf or baked potatoes or chili, or something as ‘fancy’ as frittata muffins (omelets baked in muffin tins). I do a version of this when I make pork ribs or burgers: I make enough for two or three days and put the rest in the fridge. The ones I plan on saving for later I pull off the stove/ oven a little early so they don’t overcook when I reheat them.

Confession time: there’s a certain pride that comes from knowing how to do it yourself.  There’s a sense of independence and self-reliance that balances out whatever DIY hassle might be involved. It means you don’t have to be confused when your friends insist on going out to dinner and the menu doesn’t have a “lighter side” section.  When you know what is healthy for you, you can choose for yourself and feel confident in your choices.  Example: I eat Paleo (lots of veggies and some protein). I lose weight, feel better, have more energy and I like what I’m eating. When I go out with my mom, she likes the Olive Garden, so my favorite meal there is broccoli with baked fish. I get salad and leave the breadsticks (I never liked their breadsticks, so no loss for me there!) Something similar happens when I go out with friends: they like Asian so I get the chicken teriyaki, light sauce, no rice but all the stir-fried veggies (cabbage, celery, carrots, broccoli, bean sprouts). I’ve never been a fan of white rice, so again no loss for me!

Yes, it took a while to feel comfortable on this learning curve and learning to do it myself was a pain in the beginning. It was a lot of reading labels and figuring out that cauliflower rice, no matter how popular, isn’t popular with me. It also took a while to figure out that I really like steamed veggies and if I feel like something different, I can always steam a different veg or throw together a quick salad. It’s also kind of fun sharing my salad with my dog who is practically vegetarian! You don’t have to choose to eat Paleo or vegetarian or keto; you just have to choose healthy foods in reasonable portions.  You also don’t have to make a radical change to how you eat or how much you eat.  You get to decide all these important personal matters for yourself.  The point is that once you learn how to do it for yourself it’s actually easier than always depending on someone or something else. You make your own choices and you choose what works for you.  It can be as boring or as adventurous as you want it because you’re the one making the decisions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Not-So-Lovely Affair With Food: Weight Loss & Eating With Abandon

On a recent episode of My 600 lb Life, we watched a patient devouring a dozen donuts for breakfast.  She sat there with a box of a dozen mixed varieties, eating one after the other. I hate to admit it but I was so jealous- and I don’t even like donuts!

It wasn’t so much that I wanted donuts but rather I was jealous that she was eating with abandon.  She was eating whatever she wanted as much as she wanted and whenever she felt like it! I was so jealous because it’s a wonderful and heady experience to stuff yourself until you are full of whatever yummy food you want to eat.  It’s eating without caring about the consequences.  The donuts don’t really matter: it’s the same jealous feeling when I watch them eat pizza (especially a thick crust pizza) or when they eat pasta or bread or pretty much anything.  I remember how it felt to sit there with a huge amount of whatever I wanted and I could eat until I was absolutely stuffed full. For those few moments I was eating, it was a wonderful feeling. The food was so satisfying and tasted so good. I savored every bite and made it last as long as I could.  If there happened to be leftovers, I could look forward to savoring them too!

But once the eating was over, the feelings were almost as horrible as the eating had been satisfying. The guilt was usually liberally sprinkled with excuses: this was all I ate today; it was a special occasion (as in Friday!) or I was ‘treating’ myself.  Whatever the excuses were, they didn’t cancel out the guilt for eating so much. There is no excuse for eating an entire medium pan pizza when you weigh 300-plus lbs! I certainly wasn’t starving or undergoing some kind of ‘pizza deficiency’! So why did I eat so much? Because just the feeling of eating with abandon was enough! It felt like freedom!

Then reality smacks you hard in the face: your stomach hurts after eating so much; your knees and back hurt from being three times as big as you should be; you feel like crap because you shouldn’t be eating pizza at all, let alone the whole thing with wings and breadsticks! And forget about that pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer! (yeahhhhhh, riiiighhht!! Not happening!)

Obviously, I know how good it feels to eat without caring about the consequences and I know how bad the guilt is afterwards.  I’ve heard Dr. Nowzaradan’s patients talk about their love affair with food and how comforting food is and how food doesn’t hurt you or betray your trust! But oh, how wrong they are! There is nothing comforting in eating until your stomach feels like bursting and there is certainly nothing comforting in your legs and hips aching because you’ve got three times the weight on them that they are supposed to carry.  Food in those amounts definitely hurts your body with the voluminous calories and hurts your spirit with the shame and guilt.  As for betraying you? The food that is supposed to nourish you and keep you healthy is killing you slowly, miserably and painfully. If that’s not betrayal, I don’t know what is!

Our love affair with food is really an illicit love affair. When you are having an affair, you hide your relationship out of shame, meeting your lover in places where you can’t be seen.  Once the passion is spent, you slink back to your spouse and try to forget how you are hurting him/ her with your betrayal. You hide your guilt and make secret promises never to do that again, and you mean it- at least until the passion overwhelms you and you sneak off to meet your lover again.  The only difference between that illicit affair and the one with food is that the person you are hurting the most is yourself.  You are betraying yourself when you gorge without care on whatever you want for that moment.  Is it worth the guilt and the shame and the pain you feel afterwards?  Hardly!  But for those few moments of delicious freedom….? For those brief minutes, we convince ourselves it’s worth it, but then afterwards we are drowning in the regret and recriminations that always come, that we know always follow our eating.

Some people refer to this as bingeing, but it doesn’t have to be an all-out session of gorging ourselves to qualify for the regret. It can be something as simple as the breakfast that we really want but isn’t the best choice for us. For me that can be pancakes or the breakfast sandwich that I love, or something as simple as finishing off the bag of licorice after dinner.  It’s not good for me and I’m certainly not hungry: I just really want it so I give in the momentary desire and then try convincing myself that “it wasn’t that much!” For some people, a binge is an entire cheesecake, a pint (or more) of ice cream and a bag of Cheetos; for others, an 8 oz bag of licorice is enough of a binge. The point is it is eating without control and without caring.  In short, it’s eating with abandon.

It’s true: having an apple instead of an apple pie is certainly better for you, but the point is giving in to the desire to eat. I wasn’t hungry- I just wanted to eat! When I give in and eat the apple or the donut or the licorice, I’m giving in to that desire to eat without caring again.  I do care, so instead of the donut, I choose an apple.  It’s like I’m only cheating “a little bit.”  If your spouse/ partner were cheating on you, would you make a distinction between a “little bit” and a “lot”?  Is there really a distinction?

Ultimately, no one else can make us stop. They can threaten or cajole or bribe, but we are the ones who must make the decision.  I have seen Dr. Nowzaradan take some fairly drastic steps to save patients from their own self-destructive actions after his dire warnings that one cold or flu is enough to kill them. Despite knowing that they are mere weeks from dying, they continue to eat and continue to gain (or regain) weight.  In most cases, drastic steps means physically limiting their ability to eat either by performing a bypass, a sleeve or by inserting a gastric balloon (this is where the patient swallows a balloon which is inflated in the stomach to take up space and prevent them from eating so much). In most of these cases, the surgery or procedure is already risky, but without it, they will keep eating and the question isn’t “if they die in surgery,” but “when they die from obesity complications.” This statement isn’t as histrionic as it sounds: it happened to my cousin.  He was over 600 lbs and was unable to control his eating.  I have also seen other TLC programs where the 600+ patient died from their obesity.  Like my cousin, their weight pushed their bodies over the limit until their bodies gave out.

For most of us, the situation isn’t as dire. There’s no life and death involved. Instead, it’s the quality of the life we want. Do we want to feel confident when we go out dancing? Do we want to be afraid of what’s on the menu at the new restaurant? Do we want to be able to go swimming without wondering what we look like in our swimsuit? Do we want to climb the tree or jungle gym with our kids?  These aren’t life or death questions, but sometimes when we’re sitting on the sidelines watching others enjoy their lives, they sure feel like it. It’s a simple decision: would I rather live with joyful abandon or eat without caring about what comes next?

Ladies and Gentlemen: Start Your Engines! Beginning Weight Loss Basics

Beginning your  new healthy eating lifestyle can be a double edged sword. Too many of us get lost in the planning and information stage. It’s easier to keep “gathering information” rather than actually taking action. But planning and gathering information is meant to be just a foundation. It’s a lot like getting directions off google: it gives you a way to go- a plan of action- but then you’ve got to get on the road! Sometimes when you get on the highway, you find there’s road work or detours. That means you’ve got to do some ‘recalculating.’ For some people, ‘recalculating’ or a change of plans is seen as failure. I prefer to think of it as ‘refining the process,’ because that’s exactly what it is. 

Brace yourself: we’re all different! That means whatever weight loss plan has worked great for you might not work great for me. Several months ago, my sister started eating low carb and she went pretty much straight from vegetarianism to keto in a few days with very little trouble. She was a little tired and low energy for a few days but other than that, she had very little difficulty with the transition. For me, transitioning from Paleo (low carb) to keto (low carb high fat) is a lot harder. The logistics are more complicated for me and the physical side effects take longer to work through. That doesn’t mean that keto won’t work for me or that somehow her body handles ketosis better than mine: it simply means we’re different. 

People are more than just their bodies: we’re made up of habits and  preferences in addition to the physical elements. We like different foods, have different goals, hobbies and habits. Some of us handle stress better than others and some of us are naturally more active than others. Some of us also have very real physical limitations, and we all start from different starting points! 

This is extremely important, even though it sounds like obvious common sense information. How many times have you compared your weight loss or workouts with someone else’s and felt like you’re ‘falling behind’? They’re doing so much better than you are and you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but you must be doing something wrong because they’re ‘winning’ and you aren’t. So, like most of us, you start ‘re-evaluating’ your plan: what are they doing that you aren’t? 

Like I said earlier: double edged sword. If your only reason for changing your plan is Liz or Eddie is losing more weight or gaining more muscle faster than you are, that’s probably the wrong reason to make changes. If you are losing weight or building muscle and they’re just ‘faster’ at it than you are, you’re still winning! Remember- different bodies, different starting points, etc.? But, if your plan isn’t working, and by this I mean not losing weight, not building muscle or making progress towards your goals, then re-evaluation is legitimately warranted.

This is where the information gathering comes in, tempered by your habits, preferences and the rest of your unique qualities. Example: when I started eating Paleo, I had no problems adding in more cruciferous vegetables. I like cabbage, broccoli, Brussels sprouts and cauliflower, but the ‘kale craze’? Leave me out! The same with eggs: Paleo recipes love them as much as they love kale! So when I started, I modified most of the recipes to replace the stuff I don’t like for stuff I like better. Eventually, I opted for real eggs at breakfast instead of the substitutes (lots of hot sauce to kill the egg taste) but kale still isn’t on my menu. 

This means if your best friend’s menu plan is full of yogurt and you’re lactose intolerant, or just plain don’t like yogurt, then that may not be the diet for you, or you’ll need to make some major changes to follow it. This is where information gathering pays off. If you’re lactose intolerant, you may be able to switch from cow’s milk yogurt to sheep or goat milk. If you just don’t like yogurt, you may be able to make other swaps, or you can try researching other diets/ eating plans, if what you’re doing now isn’t working. 

There’s nothing wrong with starting your weight loss plan by gathering information and there’s nothing wrong with refining your plan once you get started. But you can’t keep doing the ‘refining’ your plan without putting it into action. Seriously, I tried a hundred different salad veggie combinations before I decided on one that I really like, and the same with salad dressings, but until I got on the road and actually ate the salads, it was all academic. You have to take action and try out your plan before you’ll know what works for you and what doesn’t. Another example: I tried a few different brands and flavors of protein powders before I settled on ones I liked; then I experimented with almond milk, coconut milk and some blends. Then, I came to the conclusion that protein shakes worked best for me on an occasional basis. That doesn’t mean all my ‘refining’ was a waste: it means I learned that real foods are better for my weight loss and my body. Protein shakes aren’t bad for me, but on a daily basis, I’m better off sticking with whole foods. 

Making a plan is a great place to start but don’t be afraid of change and don’t be afraid to experiment. It’s a learning curve but don’t forget we’re all individuals and our plan needs to reflect our individuality. 

Ignorance Hurts! Weight Loss & New Ideas

One of the most painful stereotypes regarding the obese is that they are gluttons, followed hard by the second most painful stereotype: they are lazy.  Neither statement is true in most cases.  Most people who go on diets adhere closely to the program; they eat their diet food, measure their portions, say no to the cheats and treats.  They lose some weight, maybe even hit their goal, but then we all know what happens next: rebound weight gain!  They feel like failures and society for the most part believes they must have screwed up somewhere or just gone off their diet.

The truth is that, like most people, I tried very hard to lose weight.  I played sports; I tried to eat the healthy food.  My mom was always pushing one diet or another at me, and most of them were pretty awful and I never lost much weight.  Some of her plans included a fast-metabolism program, where I eliminate certain foods from my diet, drink smoothies according to the book’s recipe list, and then the following week, I make more changes to my diet to include/ eliminate more foods, and then make even more changes the next week!  This was guaranteed to jump-start my metabolism so I would burn off weight in no time at all!  Another one of her guaranteed fixes included drinking a smoothie made with an expensive powder (like $30 a pound!) and this powder would ‘bind’ to the sugar/ carbs/ whatever to keep it from being absorbed, so I would lose a lot of weight fast!  One of these diets included the questionably ‘healthy’ meal of buttered egg noodles on a regular basis.  Even as a teenager, I really didn’t think buttered noodles counted as ‘diet food’ and it didn’t take long before I stopped listening to my mom’s fad diet schemes.

However weird and wacky some of these diet plans might have been, my mom had the right idea: we need to keep learning and stay open to new ideas.  What we all thought was the ‘right answer’ when I was growing up (low fat-high carb and eat less-move more) is more than likely NOT the right answer!  We know that carbs turn into glucose in the body and that chronically high glucose leads to insulin resistance which keeps the body from metabolizing stored body fat.  Essentially, the more carbs you eat and the more often you eat them, the less body fat you burn off.  All that advice we were given about eating every two-three hours isn’t ‘jump-starting’ our metabolism but it is keeping us overweight.  The carb roller coaster is why we feel tired two hours after lunch and why that afternoon granola bar makes us feel energized.

When you open yourself up to new ideas, there’s always the danger of getting taken for a ride.  This is why if you are going to keep learning new things, you need to do your homework! I confess I am one of those who poo-poo’d the Paleo diet as one more weird freaky fad diet to be avoided, and I did it without learning anything about it.  I simply lumped into another one of those ‘flash in the pan & sell as many books as possible’ marketing schemes.  Bad, bad, bad! I should know better and I’m going to blame a cynical outlook on weight loss for my poor judgment! Before I made a snap judgment, I should have taken a look at what the Paleo/ Caveman Diet proponents were actually saying.

I’m not going to tell you that Paleo is 100% effective for everyone, because I honestly have no idea if it is.  I can tell you that after years of reading about other weird fad diets and trying a few of them that this one made the most sense to me.  The number one reason for me is that it’s a pretty basic plan: eat real whole food.  I don’t have to go looking for some expensive powder or a long list of strange smoothie ingredients, and I don’t have to drink all my food for weeks at time while doing XYZ exercises.  I simply avoid the processed foods.  Essentially, if it comes packaged in a box or a bag and has chemical gobbledygook ingredients, I should probably leave it on the shelf.

Proponents of Paleo have suggested that one of the reasons it took a long time for this way of eating (most don’t like the word ‘diet’) is that other than cookbooks and how-to books, there’s not a lot of marketing to go along with Paleo.  This is one of the failings of the Weight Loss Industry– because it is an industry!  People make money selling others like me the Hope of Losing Weight, usually in some package or some program that we have to pay for.  There are whole aisles at the grocery store full of packaged diet food, mostly full of chemicals, preservatives and other things that may not be good for us. We can lose weight eating those processed foods, usually only until we stop eating them.  This was my major question when I was losing weight on Nutrisystem: what happens when I stop eating their boxed food?  Easy! I gain weight again, because the focus is mainly on eating their food, not how I should be eating (supposedly that comes later, but I never got to that part!)

This is why Paleo works for me: it’s real whole simple food and I don’t have to buy the “Paleo” brand of food, although now there are brands like Primal Kitchen that fit the criteria, but it’s up to you if you want to buy them- you don’t need them to eat Paleo. If I want to buy some simple salad dressing instead of making it myself, I can buy it and not have to worry about it being full of canola oil, but if I want to make a simple vinaigrette, I can still do it.  The bottom line for Paleo is to keep your food as real, whole and unprocessed as possible.  Like I said, simple!

The point I’m trying to make is that if one thing doesn’t work for you, keep an open mind and keep learning about other methods that might work.  You need to give it an honest attempt (one week probably isn’t long enough) but if it’s not sustainable, you should probably cross it off your list.  A temporary fix is always and only temporary, just like all fad diets- once you stop eating their food or following their program, you’ll gain the weight back.  Paleo is no different in this way: if I were to go back to eating the processed foods I ate growing up, I would gain back the weight. What makes it work for me is that I’m still eating real food and it’s real food I like eating, like salad and spare ribs.  I feel better when I eat it instead of feeling hungry and tired after eating the fettucine alfredo.  I like what I eat, I don’t have to buy weird expensive ingredients or take handfuls of pills.  If I had done my homework about Paleo when I first heard about it, I’d probably have lost weight years before I did and no doubt saved myself some grief.  By choosing to stay ignorant and cynical, I only hurt myself.  Shame on me for being narrow-minded!

[Since learning about it, I’ve read some other great books that follow the same kind of idea: Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson; The Paleo Solution and Wired to Eat by Robb Wolf; Always Hungry? by David Ludwig, and Melissa Hartwig of Whole 30 has just come out with two new books.  All of these advocate eating unprocessed nutrient dense foods and keeping the processed ingredients to a minimum.  However you choose to eat, choose nutrition over convenience when possible and always go for unprocessed.]

Holiday Cheer and Weight Loss

For those of you in the USA, next Thursday is Thanksgiving.  It’s a time to get together with family and eat until we pass out on the sofa in front of the football game and/ or Macy’s Parade.  Usually, if you are trying to lose weight, you don’t know if you should dread all the food you know you’re going to eat (or at least want to) or if you’re going to use the holiday as an excuse to eat until your belt has to come off.

I am not going to make this easy for you: it’s your decision and there is no ‘wrong’ choice.  Despite what others have to say, there is no Food Police and whatever you decide to eat or not eat, you won’t be given demerits or extra credit points.  There’s no bonus for saying no to the pumpkin pie or the stuffing.

I will give you my own best advice, having faced a few of these holidays while trying to lose weight, and my best advice is this: eat what you know you won’t regret! I know it sounds like a cop out, but really this whole ‘healthy eating thing’ we’re trying to do isn’t something we just do ‘sometimes’ or when we feel like we’re having a good day.  This really is a lifestyle, so it means eating without guilt (remember no Food Police!) It also means we eat the same way (or we should) whether others are watching or not.  We’ve all done the sneak-eating, where we hope no one notices the box of Chips Ahoy is missing and that we ate all or most of them!  What we eat is completely our business! Our bodies, our health, our food! Please understand that I am not telling you to take the deep dish apple pie off the buffet and eat the whole thing , although if you want to, you can.  I am just wondering if you will regret it on Friday, because I know I would!  I am telling you that having a piece of pie or cake or stuffing or whatever you choose is not a reason to beat yourself up, if you want it and will not regret it later!  That’s pretty much the operative phrase here: if you won’t regret it.  The caveat to this whole idea of regret is pretty much basic Cause and Effect.  Everything you eat has an effect on your body, your health, weight and your goals.  It’s that savvy shopper rule: you get what you pay for!  If you don’t mind paying for the stuffing, yams with marshmallows, pumpkin pie and carrot cake with all the aftereffects of roller coaster blood sugar, cravings and hunger and maybe a weight stall or even a gain, then that’s your business.  You are prepared to pay for what you ate, you enjoyed it and you aren’t sorry, so don’t let anyone try guilting you over your choices.

However, it you are trying to bargain your way out of the cost, such as things like “I won’t eat anything the day before/ after Thanksgiving,” you may be out of luck! It’s a lot harder to go without to make up for bingeing, and usually it doesn’t work.  Unless you’ve been fasting for a while, it’s hard to make it through the initial couple of days especially if you don’t know what pitfalls to look out for and usually by the time the holiday arrives, you’re STARVING and end up eating way more than feels good.  (FYI: if you do want to try legitimate fasting, read Dr. Jason Fung’s book The Complete Guide to Fasting or google the “Intensive Dietary Management Program”.) The trick isn’t to swing from one end of the spectrum to the other: the key is stay fairly consistent.  As in, I might eat a couple of things not normally on my menu for the holiday, but I’m not going nuts over the carrot cake!

I think Mark Sisson made a great point in his interview on the Primal Potential podcast when he said most Americans think in terms of “how much can I eat without gaining weight?”  This is pretty much how we view Thanksgiving: how much can I wolf down before it’s too much?  I know there is no Food Police, but this is the same idea we have with a lot of things (like money!) that really gets us into trouble.  I used to see the same idea on billboards for my gym all the time: “I work out because: [fill in the blank]” and it’s usually been ‘filled in’ with a phrase such as “I like four cheese pizza!”  I understand that ideation really well.  I used to eat most of a medium thick crust loaded pizza and bread stick and wings on a fairly regular basis.  And, no, I didn’t work out then.  And pretty much every time I looked at the two or three pieces of pizza left over in the fridge, I’d either feel guilty that I ate so much of it or I’d try congratulating myself on not eating ALL of it!  That is not the best mindset to view what you eat! Unfortunately, this is how most of view the holidays: “well, at least I didn’t eat all the [insert holiday treat here]!”

I am going to give you some good advice if you are feeling nervous going into the holidays.  Stay away from appetizers or snacks that are just fast carbs or sugar.  At my relative’s house, there’s always a huge bowl of chips and dip, but there’s usually a veggie tray too.  I stick with the veggies: they are more filling, fewer calories (if minimal dip) and more nutritious.  I also stick with the veggies and the meats at the meal: not a lot of yams, or potatoes, and more of the salad or roasted veggies and the turkey.  I do a spoonful of stuffing and maybe a spoonful of macaroni salad.  I also say no to the bread, because usually they’re store-bought heat and serve rolls (not worth it to me).  As for dessert, if there is something I want to try, I do a small slice or serving.  The key is to enjoy the food, not feel like it’s put me in a coma! It is also 100% okay to say no to anything on the table or anything you are offered!

If we want to be successful over the coming holidays, we need to eat without guilt or shame or excuses. If we want to eat the pie, then eat the pie- as long as you know what you are prepared to pay for it! If it’s more important to you to lose a couple more pounds before Christmas or New Year’s, then don’t eat the pie.  You know you will regret it when you put on that special outfit for the holiday and it’s too tight or doesn’t look as good as you want it to.  If you feel okay paying that price, then don’t feel guilty about what you ate or didn’t eat.  It’s also okay not to eat everything on your plate! Sometimes, especially at holidays, we serve ourselves too much or someone else is too generous with the food.  It’s okay to say it’s too much, or take some home or to leave it behind (here, kitty, kitty!) There’s no law that says we need to binge or we need to deny ourselves. Remember- no Food Police! No guilt, no excuses, no shame! Eat what you feel good about eating, either because you want to celebrate the holiday or you are okay paying the price for it! Your body, your health- your rules!